a Mighty Mite Mom

Easy peasy left over quesadilla

2012-01-24T07:32:00.001-08:00

Left over pulled pork
Smashed black beans
Corn Tortilla
Mango Salsa
Shredded cheese
Two corn tortilla
Sour cream
Guacamole

Put the good yummies between the tortillas, cook in pan on the stove until heated through, flip, let the tortilla cook for a couple minutes. Add sour cream or guacamole to dip in.

New and old

2011-07-20T00:08:00.001-07:00

Its been nearly a year since I've posted here. Life just seems to be getting and staying away and my thoughts are so fleeting. I thought I'd drop in an update for you all. We are moving! We put the house on the market on May 19th, exactly 12 years to the day since we got the keys to it. This house is where I came to on my wedding night, found out I was pregnant in, brought my babies home to, trained my doggies in, loved my husband and growing family in, shared all the holidays and every day routines in. This was my safe haven when the FFP was away at the fire accademy. This is where I struggled and overcame depression, hard and easy times, a miscarriage. Its where I sat on the couch and watched Grey's Anatomy via phone with my best friend who lived 120 miles away while both of our husbands were working. This is where the rose tree is planted outside the little window by the door that my husband planted when Hollywood and my parents flew to Savannah, GA just after 9/11 and I was pregnant and scared to death.

This weekend a young man came for a second look and put in an offer. We accepted and we went into escrow today. We also put an offer in on another bigger house with a pool on the other side of town.

Why We Send them to School

2010-09-27T21:59:00.000-07:00

My children go to public school. I went to public school from 2nd grade on and FFP always attended public school. Things are not what they were 20-30 years ago though. Things have changed and I would say for the better. We have an amazing school with amazing teachers and staff. We have supportive parents and we truly do feel like a family.

But our district is in trouble. At first we thought it was just financial trouble. They (down at the district level and the school board) made it seem like we were headed for disaster. If we didn't make payroll the state would come in and take over. That wouldn't be good for anyone. They needed a loan right then, they needed the teachers (who account for an astronomical amount of the cost to run the district, imagine that) to give up their smaller classrooms numbers, in fact dropping 160 or so teachers from the district, their raises and their adjust their benefit packages. And they did. Now they came back and said we want more even though there is money there... but they "project" a deficit so they ask the teachers for more. They ask them for it all, they ask them to live on less and work more and give no room for negotiations for a projection 3 years down the line.

The teachers keep bringing things to the table, they keep begging the district to take the $ and make it better. The district has no rebuttal, nothing to counter offer, nothing. So now the teachers feel like they'll have to strike. I don't want my kids to go to school where there is a strike, where there are not enough people to watch them all, who have no investment in their futures trying to corral them, where they will receive no real education because the district refuses to budge because they think that this may work today but have no plan to make up for the "deficit" that doesn't yet exist 3 years away. My children will no go to school if there is a strike and I support those amazing and wonderful teachers who shouldn't have to worry about getting their salary cut by 11-13% after so much already.

Let me tell you... I will bring them coffee and food and stand beside them because I know how hard they work for our kids, I know how hard they work for our community, I know how hard they work for their own family and the district has no idea, that is very apparent.

CRAZY Summer and

2010-09-19T21:04:00.000-07:00

Things have been so crazy around here I'm sorry for the lack of posting! Summer is over and the kids are into school knee deep. I've started running again and the FFP is busy taking fire classes and hunting. Not a lot of time for much family stuff but we did get a weekend or two away this summer for camping and a trip to the beach. We had so much fun at Butt (seriously... it is called that) Lake once with Good Neighbor, Julz and all of our kids. FFP came up one day and GN's parents were in in camp site across from ours. We got the perfect spot right next to the beach and would sit right in camp and watch the kids play in the water. It was perfect!

I did get a girls weekend away at Bailey Creek (Eagles Nest owned by the Simmons Parental units) and 5 girls w/ lots of wine and vegetarian food was a blast! I won't even tell you how many bottles were consumed because you'll probably not even believe me! We did crazy things like run through the sprinklers on the golf course, do self pedis while watching old movies and lots and lots of silly laughing and talking. We had a BLAST!

Got the hubby off of work so we went to the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk and Monterey for a few days too. We had entirely too much fun on the rides at the beach before heading to Monterey for the night. We even ate at Bubba Gumps and it was probably the most amazing sea food I've ever eaten which isn't saying a lot, but hands down best service in any restaurant too. We all crashed hard that night then headed to aquarium the next morning. The kiddos got to do the scuba dive (more like snorkeling w/ dry suits and scuba gear) in the little cover and they loved it! So worth the $$$!) The aquarium is one of my favorite places and I love that the kids still love the touch pools. I'm sure they'll outgrow them but I'm not in a hurry for that at all! We checked out tide pools too and saw seals, otters a pod of killer whales all out by Lovers Point. It was an amazing trip!

For most of the last 7 years I've walked in the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer. This year I crewed. I took GN with me (she's my 3 time AWBC buddy, my hot red headed friend, momma and Aunt Sandy with me. We packed a crazy amount of stuff into 2 and a half days. Friday night we went to see Wicked! It was wonderful and I would totally see it again. Saturday GN and I worked our fingers to the bone crewing rest stop #1 and RS #3. We were exhausted beyond reason and actually changed our clothes in porta potties without getting dirty. We are that good. We headed out to AT&T park to see Sir Paul McCartney play. He was absolutely mind boggling freaking incredible. Momma and Aunt Sandy had seen the Beatles in 1965 at the Cow Palace. So I'm glad they got to experience that with us. I'm not sure if GN's hubby will ever talk to me again but Oh Well. We finished off the weekend with another crazy early morning wake up call and off to RS #1 for more crew duty. Today we got to cheer and bring everyone in. Much better than the 12 hours of cutting fruit. Next year I'm back to walking for sure!

We made one more trip to Butt Lake with the Cafferata clan and added a dash of Simmons since Doc is dating the youngest of the Simmons boys. We had a blast and spent a whole day over in Mickelson Cove doing things like Kayaking (thanks to Gail) and the boys fished for crawdads and reading books and visiting with friends. Lots of yummy camp food too! All in all it was a pretty awesome summer.

Happy UnValentines Day to you

2010-02-15T23:05:00.000-08:00

The most we get into Valentines day is buying the kiddos the little sugar filled Vcards for their classes. The hubby and I would rather do random acts of love throughout the year than to devote the same day as everyone else does to declare our unabiding adoration for one another. As it is I have memorized so many different anniversaries of our courtship to marriage that Valentines day seems very obsolete. On February 3rd he brought me a dozen roses because it was 15 years to the day from the day we met. April 14th will be 15 years since our first Date and our first Kiss. December 19th 1997 was the date we got engaged. so on and so forth.

This last year we didn't do anything for our 10 year wedding anniversary because it was summer time and the FFP is a firefighter and we were keeping our fingers crossed for a strike team. We did get away to LV for a few days right after Christmas and it was so nice to spend one on one time together while on Vacation... by ourselves. We haven't done that since our Honeymoon nearly 11 years ago. Not that we don't usually have time alone together, I mean with me a stay at home mom and him working 10 days a month the time the kids are at school are well spent. We run errands together, go to coffee toether, go to lunch, clean up the house or the yard, watch a movie... you know the typical. We have spent more one on one time together in the last two years than most of the rest of our marriage combined. I'm a little spoiled. So when I renounce Vday in lieu of an evening with friends and Wii you understand. I would rather have those little sweet moments all year than a day that requires a card, flowers (that I love to get not on the same day as everyone else) or candy (dark Chocolate please) dictated by Halmark.

Love you babe.You are my sunshine, my strength and my knight in shining armour still after all these years. 15 years and 12 days ago I met the man of my dreams and I wouldn't want to change a moment of being in your arms.

OMG its 2010!

2010-02-15T17:40:00.000-08:00

I feel like such a slacker! Its already been a heck of a year and we're only the middle of February. Lots of things to look forward to though. Hollywood is doing another chess tourney on Wednesday in Corning and has Baseball tryouts for Farm League on Saturday. Blondy is enamored with videogames right now but is interested in horseback riding and I just need to find a facility I feel comfortable with to start lessons and is doing great at rollerskating. We hope to take them to Shasta to learn to ski over the Spring Break. Both the boys are doing very well in school but this new "Everyday Math" concept at school is so far from the way I learned math in 2nd and 4th grades that I'm having some trouble helping them with homework. I find myself keeping every peice of paper explaining a concept in hopes of finally understanding. I don't seem to be getting very far.

FFP is working as usual and there is no real hunting season going on so he's been home a lot. Our Friend "Huntin' Buddy (HB)" and his son "Junior" have been spending a lot of time with us, trading favors when we need them or when we do. Lots of tree cutting and dinners made with them and I'm thankful for them both. FFP has made an amazing friend and I'm thankful for him although sometimes this brofriend thing gets a little old. LOL Hubby is looking forward to Elk hunting this fall and helping out with Baseball this spring. Hopefully his buddy will come through and he can get some pig hunting in, my wild pig supply in the freezer is dwindling rapidly.

HB and Jr. have become an intergral part of our family. We all look forward to the time spent with them. Dinner and Wii time about once a week (or more) to catch up has been the nice routine we've made with them. Its been a rough few months for them. Unfortunately HB found out that his wife was seeing someone else right before Thanksgiving and I've been a little bit furious at her actions and the way she has treated them and her friends. One negative toxic friendship scratched off this list. Glad to have HB and Jr in our lives though. They had dinner with us last night and the bottle of wine was just what I needed after a really crappy week.

I've still got my running buddies although I'm out of the running loop due to injury. I just volunteered for my first race as water station with my boys for the Habitat for Humanity Home Run 5K. I'm looking forward to helping more with this charity as well as the Local Livestrong Campaine this fall and the Avon Walk with Breast Cancer this summer where I will do my first stint as a crew member with Good Neighbor. I'm active in a book club as well as various activities around the kids school. I'm hoping to start with KOR the Kettlebell class again this spring to get my strength back after this strange injury.

I guess thats all for now. A little update with more to come soon.

I should be at church

2009-08-16T10:15:00.000-07:00

But I am all cut up from a fall on my long run yesterday and can't wash my hair. The whole right side, including my knee and arm from wrist to elbow are all cut up and the thought of getting back in the shower after the excruciating pain from washing out my wounds yesterday is just too much. I know God doesn't care if I have clean hair but I do.

FFP is working a 96 this week. He had to pay back a trade so I could do the Avon Walk so Friday was free, normal shift Sat, OT today (so few and far between he thought he should take it) and regular shift on Monday. Ugh. I miss him. The boys miss him.

The kids are ready for their first full week of school. I'm not. I need to go shopping for food before this big week. I forget how I hate making lunches for Blondy. He is so picky. I wish he would eat something besides cereal and bagels and the occasional PB&J. Hollywood wants me to send him to school with Sushi.

Did you see the post from the first day of school? (aren't my boys too cute?!) and the crazy big spider in our front yard?

1st day of School

2009-08-12T13:58:00.000-07:00

2nd and 4th Grade! Oh my that went by fast!

Super Spider

2009-08-12T12:18:00.000-07:00

This Little Bugger (I mean BIG) was hanging out in a very cool web between our rose bushes in the front yard today.

Return of the Sorta-Single Mom!

2009-08-10T20:12:00.000-07:00

September is always hard. To have a firefighter as a husband is almost a full time job just waiting for him to be home these scorching hot months then add to it a hunting season and it's like I'm putting our marriage on hold for an Archery deer tag. Sept and October should be better but the FFP has an onslaught of classes he would like to take that will take him out of town and re-arranging his schedule even more. I have a feeling that I'm going to be spending money on sitters left and right this fall.

School starts on Wed and I have to go get school supplies and food for the kids for their lunches. Luckily I'm dropping them off at Grandpa Camp for the day. Hopefully I can talk dad into bringing the kiddos down about the time Chris gets home so they can get settled into bed before their first day. Although I'm sure they will want to be at school scouting out their classes and classmates at 5pm with everyone else.

Marathon training starts tomorrow. I'll be living and breathing and eating my way to Decembers CIM starting line. My hope is to train for a 4 hour marathon. Not sure if that is realistic or a pipe dream. We will see.

I'll upload first day of school pics if I can get them. I will be manning the coffee and cookie table for PTA Wed. morning at 7:30am until 8:30am encouraging new parents to get involved!

Where are my running shoes?

2009-08-02T21:12:00.000-07:00

I think Cindi hasn't been running with me enough. She is telling me something. She has taken to sleeping with my shoes in her bed.

Learning Forgiveness

2009-07-28T16:20:00.001-07:00

Being a parent teaches you amazing things about yourself. It teaches you how to be selfless and selfish. It teaches you how to be a teacher and how to learn from your children, your parents and your friends. It teaches you how to slow down, how to move faster and how to do many things at once or just sit down and read a story with them and do absolutely nothing else. Being a parent has been a tough learning curve. Your children are not you, they don't learn the best way you do, they have their own little personalities and quirky habits. They amaze me every day how they can be a part of Chris and I and yet be so different from us.

Mostly they have taught me about forgiveness. I think my cousin's children have done the same for her. I'm not sure if we'll ever be like we were but my cousin and I have a relationship now and its been growing slowly but surely. We've linked up via Face Book and My Space. It opens up conversations, it opens general dialogue that moves into our personal, emotional, spiritual lives to bring us back together.

A long time ago my cousin and I were more like sisters. She had a tough life and a blessed life, she had too many tragedies and a plethora of loving hands to fall into. Her world has been turned up side down too many times to count and turned back not quite all the way. She had to push for normalcy and overcome choices and things out of her hands.

I spend much of my childhood looking up to her. I spent most of my adolescence in her shadow and much of my early adulthood pulling back. We had fall outs. Bad ones about 12 years ago. One after the other. My heart broke more for that than over any boy (and there were many to be heartbroken over) ever did. She was selfish and mean and hurtful. She pushed everyone away and I was hurt enough to let her. I couldn't do it anymore. It was toxic to me to wait around for her to get it together. She didn't go to my wedding, I didn't go to hers. Many years later I don't necessarily regret that but I'm sad for it.

The last year we've talked, never about specifics of those bad years, usually about the boys who hurt us during that time though. She mentioned a certain boy last night. The only boy who actually broke my heart. I usually was the one to break up, usually the one go home and cry because it wasn't meant to be, but never the one who's heart was smashed in a million pieces, like it was by him. This one left some long term bruises on my heart. He also happens to be very good friends with my cousin. I couldn't even listen to her talk in the past sometimes about him although it had been 15 years since he broke that young girls heart. But then I realized those bruises were way past time to heal.

I spent so much time working on healing this relationship with my cousin why couldn't I understand that this past boy and I broth grew up, we both settled down some, we both matured and changed and see the world differently than those teenagers we were. Last night I officially forgave him for the pain that fall of 1994. It was a lifetime ago, a young teenagers tears, an adults memory. It does nothing for him for me to forgive him. Only for me it is an amazing accomplishment.

So I forgive my children every day for those mean little snarky comments about me being a bad mom for not letting them eat cereal for breakfast lunch and dinner or play on the Play Station all day. I hope they forgive me. I forgave my cousin for the things that she had said and done and the way I handled it. I hope she forgives me. I forgave a past love who broke my heart and I forgive myself for beating myself up for 15 years about it. It is so amazing how free your heart feels when it is filled with forgiveness.

Pay Phone

2009-07-22T13:21:00.000-07:00

Blondy: Why is there a cell phone on the side of the 7-11?
Mommy: Hu?
Hollywood: Duh! It's a cell phone on the side of 7/11!
Mommy: Hollywood, that's rude. That is not a cell phone, it's a pay phone.
Blondy: Oh for old people who don't know how to use cell phones?
Hollywood: Like Grandma and grandpa, right?
Mommy: Actually that's for people who need to call someone. It doesn't matter if you are young or old. If you get stuck somewhere you can put change in there and call me and I'll come get you. That kind of thing.
Hollywood: And the cord is so no one takes it.
Mommy: Actually the cord is what takes your voice into the wires and out to where you are calling. Kinda like a corded phone in a house. That's how we all used to talk to each other.
Blondy and Hollywood: Cord? Wow Mom, you must be really old.
Mommy: Thanks.

Scout

2009-07-06T17:53:00.000-07:00

Should have named the FFP Scout. He and Cindi lived it up while camping. She also loved to lounge with him in the hammock. He blames me for her being so spoiled. I have PROOF that he is the one spoiling her.

Camping spot

2009-07-06T17:50:00.000-07:00

Butt Valley Resevoir
a favorite family camping spot near Lake Almanor

Summer

2009-07-05T16:35:00.000-07:00

I haven't really posted because this summer has been crazy and realitively uneventful at the same time. We chose to put the kids in 1 summer camp but that isn't until the end of July. We went to our favorite camping spot the begining of summer and had a delightfully mellow time. Kids fished for crawdads, we lounged in the hammock, ate smores and yummy camping food, slept outdoors and loved the freshair and cooler temps. Chico has been enjoying the valley temps of 100+ off and on for the last 3 weeks and I'll be looking forward to a weekend in the bay area walking in the AWBC. We did go to the bay area two weekends in a row the begining of summer,1 for my uncles memorial and the second the wonderful Bunco game my aunt hosted for me and her friend Carolyn. We raised an amazing $3700 in one afternoon (I mean months and months of work for my Aunt and her friends of course).

Next weekend is AWBC in SF. FFP is doing trades to be home because my dog is a pain in the butt. She escapes and runs away to find a home if we leave her ANYWHERE too long. She doesn't understand that we rescued her from the pound BUT if she runs away they will take her back there. For such a smart dog she can be really blonde LOL. Sista and the kiddos came down and we got to spend some quality time with them. Nani even spent the night with us one night. Hopefully when GIBri goes back to Iraq they will spend the holidays at Mom and Dad's and we can have more sleepovers. I can't believe she will be in Kindergarten in the Fall. Amazing!

Date Night

2009-05-03T22:01:00.001-07:00

I tell Blondy that he and his brother are going to Gma and Gpa's house so Mommy and Daddy can go to on a date.

Blondy: Why do we have to go again?

Mommy: Because Mommy and Daddy are going on a date.

Blondy: A date?

Mommy: Yea, like going out to dinner and a movie together.

Blondy: It's just wierd.

Mommy: Why?

Blondy: Well, you're married. Don't you already know EVERYTHING about eachother?

Vermiculture

2009-04-22T20:48:00.000-07:00

I pulled Hollywood out of STAR testing for several reasons. None of which I need to discuss openly here but if you want more info let me know. We (me) wanted to do something educational while they were out for 3 hours a day for 3 days this week. I had always wanted to make a "worm box" so we did a little research and got some rubbermaid bins and got started.

Tuesday: Drilled holes for the worms to "breath" and the air to circulate. I had never used a drill before. It was kind of cool to do that. I drilled holes around the top, just under the lip of one 18 gallon rubbermaid container and then in the bottom for the "worms" to drop down into the second comtainer and for the "worm tea" to collect into the bottom. I did drill some holes about 3 inches above the bottom of the outer container so it could get some air circulation too. We made some fruit salad with pineapple, apples, kiwi, banana and other fruits for our afternoon snack. We shredded newspaper for some bedding and have started collecting food in a seperate bowl to put in the compost bin.

The kids started writing up their information packet to present to their class including what they needed and what they did that day.

Wednesday: We went to The Worm Farm today. Mark showed us around and talked to us about Vermiculture. We learned lots of neat things about red earthworms and how they live and reproduce. We learned how, when and what to feed them and we learned how to keep them happy in their little "worm farms" we'll keep at home. Worm bins do not cultivate protien, starchy processed carbohydrates, oils or dairy products. Although they could probably survive, it sure would stink! Worms do LOVE fruits and vegatables. They really like melons and bananas because they are soft and they can drink the juice out of them. We enjoyed out trip out there and couldn't believe how much information Mark gave us in an hour.

We came home and the boys wrote down what they had learned today. They played a little in the field then back to school they went. Tomorrow will be the last step in the "STAR" testing days off so we will drop the worms into their seperate bins (one at the Wilhelm family "farm" and one at the Mickelson family "farm"). We will need to dampen the newspaper, place the worms in the bin then cover them up with the shredded peices, we will feed them and put the worm bin in a safe place so they can eat.I hope by the end of the year that the boys can bring their bins to school to show the finished project.

What heals you?

2009-04-15T21:32:00.000-07:00

My heart feels so beat up lately. Its torn and bruised and battered but it beats on. I've let things that shouldn't bother me or that I have buried and made peace with rise to the surface. When you aren't expecting them or can't fend them off the monsters raise their angry heads. I said some irrational and hurtful things to a friend out of hurt anger and exhaustion from trying and trying and trying with her. I just want her to be happy and my unhappiness with her issues should not be on her shoulders too. I just want her to be whole again and I can't make that happen.

I have troubles with anxiety. I learned about 10 years ago how to deal with them without taking medication although sometimes it is so overwhelming I'd like to disappear in a haze and sleep off the shortness of breath, chest crushing pain and narrow view I have of the world when a panic attack hits. I feel them coming and I can usually identify what the trigger is and either avoid further anxiety or breath through it. Many times I just need a good run then a good cry in the shower and I'm better. The run centers me, gets my endorphins pumping and pushes the anxiety out of the way. I need it and crave it on weeks like this. If I can't run I pray, I read the Bible, I talk to God. Generally don't ask for anything but clarity and strength. I do this a lot when I run alone. It centers me and heals my broken heart.

The boys are back at school and I feel like such a slug. I need to do more laundry, pick up the living room again, clean the kitchen again. Its like I haven't done anything for the last two days FFP has been gone but I have. There's just no proof. Hopefully with him home for 4 days I can accomplish something. A long run on Saturday morning before a baseball game would be a start.

What do you do to center yourself when the world seems to be crashing down? What heals you?

Update on Uncle Larry

2009-04-13T21:33:00.000-07:00

A picture of Uncle Larry and Aunt Carolyn at the hospital last weekend when Aunt Sandy was there with them.

Instead of running 10 miles I heard that things were worse with my uncle so when my parents planned on going to Carson City on Thursday I jumped at the chance to go with them. We knew that he had been hospitalized because of the pain. My uncle has a very high tolerance so it had to be bad. His Oncology doc was out on vacation so his surgeon consulted and come up with a plan to remove the part of the tumor that was hurting him but they figured out that it wouldn't work. A Radiologist came into the picture and thought he could "microwave" the tumors to shrink them enough to subside the pain but had to nix that too since the tumors had grown too large in such a short period of time. In the end they decided to give him enough meds to make him comfy and it was good drugs believe me. He was pretty happy when we got there. The Radiologist Dr. Ho thought he could try to slow down and shrink the tumor by clotting it with a sand like particles. This should stop the blood flow to the tumor. That was the plan for Friday morning. Thursday night we had a few laughs and got to visit with him the way it should be.

Friday. They were supposed to take him at 8:30 and prep him for 9am surgery. That time came and went. At 9:30 the nurses came in and took him down for surgery. All went as planned. Dr. Ho had filled the vessel from the right side that would kill off some of his liver and from the top near the stomach. These should shrink the largest tumor in theory. We wouldn't know how long it would take though. He came back in so much pain. They couldn't give him enough pain meds without sacrificing his respiratory rate to make him comfortable. It was awful. He had to lay on his back and not move his legs or sit up, since they went in through the groin, for 4 hours. We left and let Aunt Carolyn sit with him so he could get some rest.

We went to Fandango Casino for an early dinner an a little gambling. I lost the $40 mom gave me to play with since I had run out of the house without taking any cash. Then I lost $5 more than on my last $5 I got down to $2.27 on the penny slots when I started winning. I won and I won and I won and ended up winning $79. I took it down to $75.15 and cashed out. I payed mom back $40 and we went to find Linner. (Lunch/Dinner). There was a restaurant in the middle of the casino. They had a special called the Fandango Fillet. it was a whole $5.99. It came with a big bowl of soup (clam chowder), a baked potato, grilled veggies and a bacon wrapped Fillet Mignon. It was yummy. All of us had steak, all 5 of us for $36. And it was good too. We went back to the hospital and could see that he was still hurting and still in and out so we went back to the hotel to sleep and recoup.

Saturday morning he was still hurting, bad but he was responsive and a little more like himself. We visited a little then headed down to the cafeteria for breakfast. We went back up and said our good byes. Uncle Larry said he didn't want me to go. I know he was kidding but that stuck with me, in my heart all the way home.

We went by this new sporting goods store called Scheels. It was massive! There is a Farris Wheel in the middle of the store! No joke. I bought my future niece or nephew a little t-shirt that has a tricycle on it and it says, "My first ATV". Cute hu? I bought myself this super soft Columbia light weight jacket on clearance for $20, and some yummy fudge. I love fudge. I can eat a little and be happy for weeks. I've only taken two slivers of it. I did have a sliver of moms rocky road fudge though on the way home. yummy.

I guess Friday Night Uncle Larry wasn't responding. They took him off his pain meds for a while and he was still unresponsive. Sunday morning Aunt Sandy, Uncle Jerry and Aunt Pam met Grandma at the pancake breakfast to explain that things had gotten worse. Since my grandma has severe Congestive Heart Failure they had to be careful going over the pass into Carson City. The altitude aggravates her blood pressure. But she's there and I guess he got up and tried to go home sometime today. I hope we know more soon. I guess there is some specialist at UCSF where they can do chemo right into the tumor. I'm not sure if this is a posibility for him but Aunt Carolyn is going to do as much as she can. If that isn't a choice they will take him home and get hospice. We are praying for a miracle.

Therapy

2009-04-08T11:01:00.000-07:00

Took a nice long hard hilly run with my friends and my dog up Humbolt road yesterday. 6 miles of therapy. I didn't figure much out but it did make me feel better. My hopes and prayers are with my Uncle Larry and Aunt Carolyn right now. My Uncle Larry will be undergoing surgery to remove part of a cancerous tumor on Monday then onto high dose chemo. This is quality of life chemo not going to save his life kind of chemo. Scary and sad.

The boys are doing well. FFP is out with the boys turkey hunting now. They are on Spring Break. Yesterday we went to see Monsters vs. Aliens in 3D. It was really cute. Friday we are hiking to Feather Falls if the weather is nice. Saturday (if I can get a sitter) I'll have another therapy session with my running shoes. This one for 10 miles.

Here's a pic of the hubby with his gobbler.

Tears today

2009-04-06T21:29:00.000-07:00

My heart hurts. I'm sad, disappointed, frustrated and tired. I don't want to cry but the tears don't want to stop. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. Hollywood brought me a little note reading "I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do to help?" I gave him a hug and said, "Just be you honey." Gave him a kiss and tucked him into bed. My heart hurts a little less now.

What fight is it that we choose to win or lose

2009-03-28T20:59:00.000-07:00

There are things about our school district that have come to light lately that I really don't like. I may or may not have been the current administration but its done and gone unfixed none the less. What I am having an issue with is that there are some who are choosing battles, choosing to use words and actions that will do nothing but hurt the children instead of dealing with the problems at hand. They are making the parents who are trying to make a difference and trying to make this a better place for our children look BAD. They are pushing their own agenda and overriding our parental message by being a bully. I don't put up with it if someone is trying to bully my kids and I won't let them bully me. I'm not sure how to deal with it though. It's like a steam roller moving through our progress. Shooting us down and pasting us to the hot asphalt as they move along. I won't lay down.

I have my reasons for opting out of standardized testing this year. I will plan fun and educational adventures for Hollywood and I (Blondy is in 1st grade and won't have STAR testing until next year). I'm going to call the Anthropology Museum at Chico State and ask if they can open early one day for us to come out. I want to do a walk in Upper Park to look at wild flowers and perhaps even have a mini math lesson over some coffee at Starbucks or Dutch Brothers.

I want to talk to some teachers about some afternoon/after school projects. We already have chess and knitting and drum lessons too I think. It would be interesting to impose some of Rebecca's ideas and start a board game club too. We can also spread our wings and do something about the budget by asking and asking and asking our board and our superintendent to use the money (if we get any) from the federal stimulus to keep teachers from losing their jobs and k-3 from losing "Class sized reduction".

So today I am doing something. I am asking parents to take a more active roll in your child's lives. I am asking for you to participate in their education, more than correcting homework and making sure their lunches are ready. California is in a time of crisis and our children are paying the price and will continue to pay the price. My hope is that we can ban together to weather this storm and come out on the other side more educated and driven to give our children the best education they deserve, public, private, home schooled or charter. They all deserve the best.

To run or not to run. That's a silly question

2009-03-26T22:52:00.000-07:00

Path report on mole scratched off my boob came back benign. YEAH! I'm on round two antibiotics for the absess that is not staff thank goodness but is strep and its not cleared up all the way yet. I've been delving headfirst into this whole school district fiasco. I'm fighting off panic attacks that I haven't had since I started running. So Wednesday I ran into upper park with Vicki... er.. I ran until half way to the top then I had to walk or stop or else I'd throw up. we took it easy to the top then found a crazy little trail to come back down. It was a nice run/hike that went about 4 miles.

Tomorrow we will be running from 5 mile up the fire road.I can't wait. I think Howler Monkey and AnneMarie will be running with us too. How lucky I am to have such wonderful running buddies.

In a week and a half, Vicki and I will be running in a trail run. This will be my first trail race ever. We'll see how it goes. There is a 10K trail run April 19th in my home town.If I can find someone to watch the boys I might do it. I'll get to see my Grandma, aunts and uncles and cousins and run in a fun race.

At war

2009-03-26T15:18:00.000-07:00

We as parents and as a community are at war with our school district and school board. They are going to lay off 68 teachers and take away our class size reduction because there is Less than NO money. Thats bad. So we are fighting to get back CSR and Music, PE and Fine Arts and the teachers that go with them for our kids. If money comes up... thats where it goes. I'm speaking up at board meetings, I'm writing letters and asking questions. I will push until I can't anymore and then I'll pull until they give us something back. I'm mad.

You are hurting no one but our children. Step up to the plate. Too many cheifs and not enough indians down at the district office is giving this city a bad name.

Check Mate

2009-03-19T10:07:00.000-07:00

Hollywood played in the Chess team this year thanks to Mr. Obe who developed the school team. Hollywood participated in three Tourny's of the 6 held (W) Win, L(loss) D(draw or tie). First one at Bidwell Jr. High he had 2W 1L 0D, Second one in Corning 0W 2L 1D. Yesterday at Chico Christian was awards and everyone who one at least one game got a medal! Nearly all of our team won something and there were a lot of GOLDS floating around. YEAH. Hollywood got 1W 2L 0D. But out of the third grade group He and his buddy Blayne got some of the highest rankings in the 400's and 500's. I can't wait to see how he does next year.

Cindi Lu Who says Happy St. Patricks day!

2009-03-17T16:28:00.000-07:00

Blondy and the Leprachaun trap

2009-03-17T13:37:00.000-07:00

Mrs. O'Barry had the 1st grade kids in room 4 make leprechaun traps for St. Patricks day. They all did a great job! This is Blondy's.

Wish List

2009-02-22T13:22:00.000-08:00

My photography wish list is growing by leaps and bounds. I've been dreaming of a larger pixel count camera for ages and although I love my old one it just isn't enough for what I want to do. Right now I'm looking at the Canon 40D which is a 10megapixel or a 50D which is a 15megapixel camera. The price difference is a little too steep for me but this will be a long term investment and one that a couple weddings would cover. The next problem I'm encountering is storage, editing and file transfer and those would require a new laptop, a photoshop type software and this little baby that I've been dreaming of for a year. Baby steps. I really need to figure out the whole "making a wedding album" thing.

Birthday Wishes

2009-02-18T20:53:00.000-08:00

Me and Kelli in front of the 2007 SF AWBC Stack

Sending out a shout out to the BFF! She's 29 AGAIN! Its amazing how time just stood still for her again. I have to say I think she's getting younger instead of just halting at the last year of her 3rd decade but I won't tell you how long she's been there.

Reasons I love my BFF

1. after 14 years we can still talk for hours and not run out of things to say.

2. If she thinks something is wrong she'll tell me and she's not afraid that it will hurt my feelings because she knows I'll not only forgive her but I know she's telling me because she thinks I need to hear it.

3. No matter how long it is between times we see each other it feels like yesterday

4.we still talk to each other 4, 5 or 15 times a day

5. the only person I would ever get a tattoo with is my BFF

6. She's the girl side of my soul mate. You could say she's my SOUL SISTER

7. We'll vowed to call each other on stupid crap forever and if a slap is deserved for the behavior go for it. No seriously.

8. We have the same views on raising our kids and our priorities for our families and if our views on something are different we agree to disagree.

9. She walked in two Avon Walks for Breast Cancer with me and she rocked them!

10. Apparently when she turned 29 she stopped aging. Damn her, why didn't that happen to me?

Disneyland Recap

2009-02-16T20:31:00.000-08:00

We took off early on Tuesday morning and made it to our hotel right across from Disneyland by 3:30. The room was not what I expected but for $407 for 4 nights I should not have expected much. I swear the mattresses were like 2 inches thick and the whole outdoor stairway always freaks me out. We didn't spend much time there for the week though. That night the kids swam in the indoor pool but I was so bummed that they didn't have a treadmill and the area around the park is not safe enough for me to go on a run by myself so walking through the park had to suffice.

Wednesday morning we got up, ate breakfast and headed out to California Adventures first since we all wanted to ride on Soaring over California and FFP and Blondy wanted to ride on the Grizzly Rapids. We did the new ride "Toy Story Mania" over by the pier then headed over to Tower of Terror so I could take Blondy to his favorite ride and on the way back hit Monsters Inc. ride. My little guy is such a dare devil and the bigger one(s) not so much. It took a long time to convince Hollywood that he liked Space Mt. once we got over to Disneyland but now its one of his favorites and I swear he rode the Matterhorn like 50 times this year. He also got to ride on Indi this year and it was so funny to watch him run up and get measured every time we went because he knew they would pull him aside anyway. They did it outside the ride then inside before we even loaded. We did ride the train because the boys wanted to see the outside of the park. It was quiet and short especially since we made it to Tomorrowland and they were ready to jump onto Space Mountain.
But when we were in California Adventures the hubby made me ride on the stupid orange swing bee hive thing and I about had a panic attack in the air. You will NEVER catch me on that again. We were there from 10am til 8pm and we were wiped out.

We got up Thursday and did it all again. The lines were longer and there were a lot more people there today. We didn't get to ride as many rides since the lines were a lot longer. We hung out at Disneyland for the most part today and hit our favorites over and over including Pirates of the Caribbean.Blondy and I did Splash Mt. and sat in the back and we only got the bottoms of our pants wet. YEAH!We kept running into people from Chico. Its such a small world... oh we didn't do that ride even though I WANTED TO. Oh well. I'm going to take a personal day to ride what I want next time we go. I got to ride the tea cups this year and I haven't done that since I was 7 I think. We did meet up with the McJunkin family at the Rainforest Cafe and had a great dinner. I love spending time with them. Their kids are great and they have a little girl Hollywood's age I can spoil. We hit a couple more rides after dinner then headed back to our sad little hotel that was like half a block away. I guess you trade quality for price and location. OH WELL.

Friday we spent the day with the McJunkins but get a few things in before the meet up. I wanted to do some pics over at Pirates Island (formerly Tom Sawyer Island) and Blondy and I did Splash Mt. one more time. FFP and Hollywood ran down to ride Matterhorn (again) and then we all got together and went to Toontown. I was starving so I searched to whole park for a turkey leg that I wanted last year and didn't get but being lunch time and all they were all out. So I grabbed the next best thing, bacon wrapped asparagus skewer and a spicy beef skewer in Adventure land. It started raining in Toontown and rained hard for 4 or so hours. We ate lunch and hung out at some indoor rides. Luckily we had all bought the kids slickers at Rainforst Cafe and no other kids looked like our kids so they were easy to spot. It did clear out a lot of people though and that evening it was easy to hit the rides we wanted. We took all the big kids (minus mrs.mcj and Matthew) and went on Space Mt one more time with the fast pass and then got stuck at the Matterhorn AGAIN. The little McJ's wanted to ride too. Eventually we picked up a package for the neighbor since the kids broke her Disneyland snow globe and needed to replace it and I sent them on their way back to the hotel to dry out and change before going to dinner with the McJ's at Hooks Point over by Disneyland Hotel. We had a yummy dinner and made a fast trip to CA to hit California Screaming. It was so cool to get a single rider pass then just jump in front of everyone in line and ride. I'm so using that next year. It was... well there is a reason they call if Cali screaming because its fast and high and well it makes you scream. When I was done I rushed Blondy over to the tower of Terror while FFP did one last ride on Soaring over California. We headed to Disneyland as CA was closing and caught the ... you guessed it Matterhorn for our last ride and the fireworks display for our Finale to this trip.

Disneyland Tea Cups

2009-02-15T15:49:00.000-08:00

Bowl Time

2009-02-02T09:01:00.000-08:00

My family doesn't particularly like watching Football and it isn't a priority for anyone but me in the house. Actually Hollywood said to me that the "Super Bowl is DUMB" before turning around and walking away. BUT we got invited over to our friends the McJunkin's for RIBS (and damn... I love ribs) and to watch the Superbowl. The boys hung out in the back yard with the McJunkin kids and had a blast. The big boys hung out in the back yard playing with their bows and new foam target. wahoo.... I kept an eye out the kitchen window, hung out with Carla (love that girl) and watched the game because you know what a multi-tasker I am.

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I was rooting for the Cardinals mostly because I'm like my dad, I cheer for the underdog. There was hope there in the last quarter but the game was so good that it didn't matter. Neither of these teams are in my favorites but I was so happy for the Card's to make it there and I was hoping for the perfect day for them.

We had chips and salsa, lil' smokies in BBQ sauce and 7layer dip for out snacks and Ribs, grilled asparagus and zesty fries for dinner. the hubby and I brought out Apple pie and Kahlua cream cheese pie for dessert. Can you guess what I'm having for breakfast this morning?

There was a lot of adult humor flying around and I haven't laughed like that in a long time. I really need to spend more time with those guys and I can't wait to meet up with them at the Happiest Place on Earth next week! I'd have to say that our Superbowl was a success.

Facebook Meme

2009-01-31T15:41:00.000-08:00

Since I've become an official Face Book Junkie I have been tagged a couple times today to do the 25 random things meme. I thought I would post it HERE for ya'll to enjoy. Maybe you'll learn something new about me hu? Actually I should have done 50 or 100 because I keep thinking there were better things for me to write but I didn't want to bore you TOO much. So here they are!

Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

1. My mom is the most intelligent person I know. I only go to her when I think I really want her advise because I know I'll take it. If I want to be oblivious to something I won't say a thing.

2. I met Chris 14 years ago this coming Tuesday. We met at a bar called Scotty's boat landing. I was 16 he was 18 and there was a dance floor and an area for those over 21 to go into and drink. It was a terrible place and my mom didn't know we were going at the time. I told the friend that night that I was going to marry that boy I danced with...

3. June 12th will be our 10 year wedding anniversary. I'm so thankful I married my best friend in the world.

4. I became friends with my BFF Kelli a week later then I met Chris when I called her and talked to her for 2 hours before she got on a plane to fly to Alaska to see her friend. We've been through a lot together and for 2 people to be so different then, our lives have become incredibly similar now that its kinda scary.

5. Chris and I bought this house when we got married. I love it and its small but we fit 2 adults, 2 kids, 3 dogs and 8 fish here with not an ounce of room to spare and I love it.

6. I moved from Martinez to Paradise between my freshman and sophomore years and I hated it... seriously hated it. I made great friends but still miss those friendships from the bay.

7. I was in Jobs Daughters growing up. I was part of the organization in Mtz and in Pds. Its a part of who I am. My mama was a Jobie too, my sista and many of my friends.

8. I'm really good at starting things and not so good at finishing them. I'm more afraid at failing when I get to the finished product then I am for failing in the middle so when something else new and exciting comes along to distract me I have a tendency to jump ship. I admit it and I'd like to change it.

9. There are exceptions. My Marriage, My kids and this crazy Marathon I just did.

10. I loved the smell of Beer when I was pregnant. I have hardly ever had beer but there are a few I have tasted and would probably drink, especially our own local Sierra Nevada Brewery beer. Yumm-O.

11. I love to watch food network and I'm only an OK cook

12. I hate that my little sister and her little family moved so far away but thankful that she keeps coming back to live with my parents for short or long bursts of time. Since my Brother In Law Brian is in the Army they come home while he is training or during times of Deployment.

13. I fell in love with running on a dare (or a challenge really) from my BFF and I can't seem to stop. I think its the people as much as the workout. Today I ran 14 miles. To date I have run 2 half marathons, serveral 5k and 10K races, a 20 mile race and a marathon. I'm training for a half marathon in March. I'm not fast but I'm OK with that.

14. I am amazed how fast these running friends have found a place in my heart. although I generally wear my heart on my sleeve I do have a lot of trouble letting new people in in. I guard it and sometimes it makes me sad. When I run its different. I'm thankful for them every day.

15. I am deathly afraid of the water. I could swim in short lengths and not very well or for very long. I do not like boats or bridges that go over water. I don't like the kids near water either, although they love it. I have a panic attack when its me or them and its not pretty. I think I'm getting better but I may just be fooling myself when I'm sitting in a chair at home typing it out.

16. I keep thinking I might want to do a Tri then I remember. Ohhh a tri has to do with water and Tina doesn't do the water thing. No tri.

17. I love to read. I usually have 3 or 4 books going at once and I'm on this historical fiction or memoir kick right now. There are several books I need to finish so I can start new ones.

18. I pray I have instilled a love of reading into my boys.

19. I'm really dumb when it comes to music. I don't know names of songs or musicians. I tried to learn guitar but see #8. I think I'll restart when Wyatt is done with his lessons.

20. I have a severe sensitivity to wheat products.Any more details then that is TMI.

21. I am soooo proud of my hubby. He works so hard so I can stay home with the boys. He is a wonderful husband, father, son, brother and friend. What a blessing he is to our lives. I tell him I appreciate him every day and its still not enough.

22.I love photography and sometimes I do a bit of wedding, family or portrait photography on the side for extra money.

23. I miss my grandparents, DiDi and my Uncle James tremendously. I still think of them every day. There comes a point when it stops getting easier and sadness over losing them still overwhelms me all the time.Losing Chris's Gpa Derril then Gpa Mike this year just intensified that feeling but I'm afraid to lose it because I love thinking of them, how their hand felt on mine, what they sounded like when they talked, a wonderful hug from them, and I'm afraid to lose those memories if I go to long without them.

24. I had easy labors with both boys. No I mean it. No drugs, no tearing nada. Jackson was even 100 times easier than Wyatt's was too. with Jackson the doc said "push for me so we can see where you are... WAIT WAIT! Well you have a boy."

25. The ultrasound tech said that Jackson was going to be a girl. We had a lot of girl stuff accumulated for "EMILY". When Jackson showed up everyone was surprised but me. I cried because he was so beautiful and healthy. I never cried because I had another boy instead of a girl. I'm so thankful that Chris's Gpa Derril "Jackson" and my gma Reba "Reed" Riggins were able to see him and spend time with my boys.

I'm tagging anyone who might want to do this. BUT don't forget to let me know you did it, K? Have a great weekend!

February Challenge

2009-01-27T16:36:00.000-08:00

I am so double dipping. I'm going to post this blog in both places mostly because I know that some come here and some go over to Gotta Grub 'n' Run and I thought it would be nice to have you not trotting through blogesphere for one day to read my goings on.

I'm setting up a February Challenge for Me and for you. Let me know what you think. Even Better? Blog about what you'll be doing this month to make a better You!

I'm not sure if this will be a monthly thing but I thought February would be a good time to set a smaller goal and break down that New Years Resolution into bite size pieces you know? I am also throwing out a February challenge to you so I won't be going at it alone you know...

First things First. Show your love. There are lots of ways I think you could do this. One thing I need to work on is positive reinforcement for the kids, the hubby and myself. We are too hard on each other. Instead of focusing on the things that are wrong at that moment think about speaking up when everything is going well. Congratulate on a 100% spelling test and reward with ice cream or a hot chocolate with extra marshmallows. Thank them for using their manners. Cultivate friendships. Have Coffee with a friend you haven't seen in awhile. Don't forget your non-human loves. Rescue a dog from the humane society if you are looking into bringing a pet into your home. Bring home special treat or toy for your cat.
Love the Earth. I'm selling Chico Bags to raise money for the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer. They are pink and brown. So cute! It is so good for the environment to carry your own bags when you are running to the market for something or the farmers market. When you take something from your house to your friends because they are on bed rest, had a baby or just are under the weather? Take the food in a Chico Bag and leave it for them to use again. You are showing your friends and the Earth Love.

Love your heart. It is the Month that women wear Red Dresses to raise awareness for Heart disease. Take care of you. Make a 30 day commitment to eat healthy (maybe less Pizza and more fun foods like stuffed butternut squash! Thanks Vicki!) for you and your family. You will all feel good and maybe the recipes and connection to your own health will become a habit. Exercise. I know most of you who read this do. Some may want to do MORE. set a goal. I had to decide to run a race. I don't particularly like the race part but it motivates me to train so I don't hurt myself or look like a total moron out there.

Love yourself: Tell yourself you are worth it. Take time for YOU, doing something you like even if you have to drag the rest of the family with you on a hike. Take some quiet time for you too. Read a book or an article you have been waiting to read. Read 15 minutes of the Bible every day if you haven't and that interests you. Wow, what a concept that was for me when I had little ones. I felt like all I was doing for 24 hours a day 7 days a week was cooking cleaning and serving nourishment from my TaTa's. I was drained and exhausted and didn't feel like I had anything else to give...but those few minutes a day I found my connection to God more strong then ever. To each their own. I didn't think of doing that til someone brought it to my attention so I'm just putting it out there. Smile when you look in the mirror. I know its hard but don't look for the flaws, look for the things you like, every day and it should get easier (I'm going to work hard on this one, we are all so self critical aren't we?).

This month besides loving someone else, loving my family, my heart, my Faith, myself. My big physical goal this month is to do 10 Kettle bell one legged squats on each leg. Yea I'm a freak and I should have started with 20 push ups or something "normal" but I always wanted to be able to do them so that's what I'm putting on my plate.

Lake Time

2009-01-16T08:28:00.000-08:00

We are headed to the lake to spend some quality time together this weekend. I'm going to drop off the dogs, pack our bags, get it all ready so when the kids get out of school we can boogie. I'm excited to spend some time up there and hopefully there will be some snow left. Here in NorCal we are having a bit of a warming trend. Not good for our lakes and rivers let me tell you. Things are BUDDING HERE. Nobody told them that its the middle of the winter still. Ugh.

I'll post pics of the kids from the lake (hopefully with snow) soon.

Ahhh... My SIL Jenny and BIL Jim and Nephew Cooper are going to welcome a new PINK bundle of joy to the family in early June. My boys want to name her Lulu but for some reason I don't think thats on the name list.

This time last year

2008-12-30T14:17:00.001-08:00

I'm still mom and still putting everyone else first. It would be nice for someone to acknowledge my time BEFORE I begged or worked around their schedule to make time for me. That didn't happen but this year I did make the time for me to go to the movies with friends, to walk in not one but 2 Breast Cancer walks, train and run in 2 half marathons and 1 full marathon. This year I did make me a priority as well as getting everyone elses things in. I made new friends, a made new goals and achieved them. Hollywood played baseball and started guitar lessons. Jackson is still drawing pictures like crazy. They are both into music so much its kinda scary. They spend hours listening to the radio or their ipods. The hubby spent January shooting ducks and October shooting elk and deer. They've been out a few times shooting ducks and geese for the last few weeks with his friend Daron and even brought home some wild pig for our freezer this spring with Brett Gruben. Who needs to shop for meat, I've got that hunter gatherer hubby to thank for a full freezer.

We did have a bit of a crazy summer though. All those fires really changed our outlook. The Humbolt fire started here in Chico but took off and ended up all the way out by Butte College. It seemed under control until the winds came up and left a trail of destruction across the county, but not before nearly taking out my parents house, six homes on their street, actually loosing our friends house and in the end over 100 homes between the start and the end were destroyed. That weekend was supposed to be our Anniversary and although we would have gone out I couldn't leave my parents at home with the kids when they didn't even know if they had a home. That next morning after getting word that our friends home was gone but my parents was saved was bittersweet. the hubby went to help Daron pull the safe out, Although it was standing it was virtually destroyed and nothing was left in side. to get out of town we did go to our favorite spot for a couple of nights with Good Neighbor and the kiddos over fathers day weekend just to unwind. We came home and got back to business. Shortly after Hubby lost his Gpa D to a strong battle with cancer. That was a very difficult few weeks. More lightning started more fires and the whole summer we lived in this toxic fog. For a few days it lightened up and we could celebrate Sista and GI Bri's renewal of vows. I went back to training this fall and then Hubby lost his other grandpa to a long battle with diabetes and dementia and various other ailments. Sad year for sure.

2008 was so crazy I think I'm going for a MELLOW year in 2009 full of quiet blessings and achievements. A healthier happy existence. Maybe more "green". Yea, that sounds like a plan.

Christmas blessings

2008-12-28T22:02:00.000-08:00

A time to reflect. I'm so thankful for my little family and my extended one too. We were able to get together with friends and most of the Riggins Family on Saturday afternoon to celebrate Christmas together. We played the number game and Bingo for White elephant gifts and the kiddos all got to play together. Although my kids smiles are cheesy I love them just the same. We got to spend time with the Cafferatas/Mickelsons last Saturday and the Jackson side on Christmas Eve. We saw the in-laws on Christmas after opening presents and then went to the Wally's before heading up the hill to exchange presents with my parents and sisters family. I'm just so happy they are in my arms and in my heart. Seeing them happy is the best Christmas EVER.

Hubby got: a Columbia fleece vest from his parents, Video game and sweat shirt from my parents, a long sleeve Cabellas waterproof camouflage shirt, a sweatshirt and a docking station/radio, about $50 in Starbucks gift cards and other stuff I can't remember.

Hollywood got: IPod Shuffle, Portable DVD player, CD Clock radio, scene it game, The dangerous book for boys, video games, and lots lots more.

Blondy got: IPod shuffle, projector drawer, portable DVD player, Scene it game, Book about backyard bloodsuckers, video games and lots, lots more.

I got: Cindi of course! The hubby also got me a new camera bag and GUITAR HERO and a Guitar! My MIL and BIL got me a Jim Shore Santa figure I've been dying for and a beautiful Xmas platter from *the boys*. My sis got me a cute bath set since were were doing sustainable Christmas for each other and not buying anything new for each other we had to find something around our house that we don't use but know the other would like. Mom and dad got me a guitar and guitar hero III so then I had two guitars and two games so we could BATTLE against each other. So much fun! Hubby also got me some treats from fleet feet like a Gift card, a 26.2 sticker, a runner girl mug, some mint chocolate GU and a marathoner license plate cover.

We had a great Christmas. It wasn't as expensive as other Christmas's and we were fine with that. The best present was being together and making these memories. We also booked a 3 day jaunt down to the happiest place on Earth for a little vacation in February but haven't told the kiddos yet. I think we'll just throw them in the car and drive til we get there.

The best present of all

2008-12-24T13:57:00.000-08:00

Its been a long 6 months since one of my dearest friends chose to face life and its trials without me. That choice she made hurt me but I understood and I choose to wait as long as I could. But this holiday season found me sad and regretting that I had let that time go too long. I was afraid that the time would go by too easily and we may not find our way back to each other. That sadness and regret unfortunately turned to anger and frustration. I took it out on the hubby but the hubby did something about it and took it to her hubby (tactfully) and he brought the issue up with her.

I understand that this is a hard time for her. Her home and her memories are gone and all the traditions wrapped up in them are hard to follow threw when you still live in the past. Understanding I am but also human, also a friend who has been locked out for way too long. I don't want her to worry about me, I know she doesn't have that in her right now. I just want her in my life. Thankfully our hubbies still do things together.

The morning after the "talk" that the boys had I was walking aimlessly through Target when a phone call comes across my cell. I look and see that it is her. Afraid that I will cry in the middle of the store I chose to not answer it and head for check out. I would call her when I got to the car... but when I head towards that direction she is standing there with the phone to her ear leaving me a message. What did we do? We cried right there in the middle of the store. Tears of happiness, sadness, regret and reconciliation. We walked talked and shopped. I hope this is the beginning of our new beginning because I can't stand to not have her in my life. Fate stepped in again and on Tuesday Hollywood's class was at the same field trip as her sons. The boys connected too. A bit of fate wrapped in a Christmas Celtic Christmas.

Her text to me: We R meant to be.

Through the Looking Glass

2008-12-13T16:23:00.000-08:00

Having a new puppy was supposed to be exciting and frustrating. It has been both. We changed her name to Cinnamon Dulce Latte (actually her Stage name is still Daisy). We call her Cindi or Cindi Lu Who from the Grinch. She is such a cuddler and snugly. She loves to kiss and lean against you. She LOVES to sleep in the bed with us. She didn't know ANYTHING but she picked up on sit quickly and she only had an accident the night we brought her home.

I'm using some of the techniques that BFF's dog whisperer gave her including keeping her on a leash when she's on the house to limit where she can go and utilize the time to teach her. I just keep her attached to me and use circumstances that we come upon as teaching time. Of course I work on her separately too to get her used to basic commands and positive reinforcement. She is doing well. Now the boys think its fun to yell at her when she I am teaching her something and then wonders why she doesn't listen. I try to explain it them but then five minutes later they are doing it again.

Overall she has been great. The kids love her, the dogs are getting used to her. I ran with her today and she did well enough for her first trip out. She is so sweet and gentle that its amazing that she has had little human contact. She jumped right into our family even though some think we're crazy. I'm in love with her and she's in love with us.

Driving Miss Daisy

2008-12-11T20:37:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas to her and to me. Today this showed up on the Butte Humane Society websight and we just had to go look at her. She found her forever home here in our hearts.

I heard that sometimes you get gifts during this time of year and what I want most in the world isn't really a gift... it's a forever home. I've been here for a while now and the people here say that they're very surprised no one has taken me home, I've heard that Australian shepherds are pretty popular. I guess puppies my age have a hard time getting adopted. Maybe it's because we haven't had a lot of training, or maybe it's because we're just not as cute as those itty bitty puppies. I was one of those a few months ago! If only people would just pretend that I was one of those puppies... then maybe I'd find a home faster. I do know one thing for sure... I've been sooooo good! I'm living with three other dogs and I've been super friendly with everyone! I haven't started one argument or been upset with anyone since I've been here! If I'm good, that means I can get what I want for Christmas right?? That's what I've heard. Just ask the people here, they'll tell you how good I've been. Please find me a forever home! I may have trouble being good ALL the time since I'm just a puppy, but I'll try my hardest and I'll listen to my family! Please, I just really miss having a nice warm floor to sleep on and people to snuggle with at night. I would love to have some kids too! They seem like so much fun. I'll be waiting here, thank you for listening!!
Adoption fee- $75

Right now she's bouncing from our bed to Blondy's bed to Hollywoods bed. We love her already.

11 month Journey

2008-12-10T09:26:00.000-08:00

I cannot tell you what this last 11 months have been like... well maybe I can, just read this blog! lol. I struggled to come in at an 11 minute mile that day 11 months ago. I thought that a marathon must be beyond me. I was looking at a week at a time, not 11 months down the road. Today I'm a marathoner. Today I'm setting new goals and new adventures in my head. Today I'm still living in that Marathon High and I can't believe it.

Those wonderful coaches and runners got together last night down at Woodstocks pizza and had our final "meeting" of sorts. It was really hard to think that this group wouldn't be running together every Tuesday night and Sunday morning. We would all be going our seperate ways, hoping to see eachother on the paths, at other races, perhaps even in other programs, soon. But we had a good time and Paul and Alan did something special for all of us to celebrate our achievment. What great coaches... almost all of us had sugnificant PR's or did better than our goals (for those of us running a marathon for the first time). That is a testiment to them and their dedication to all of us. This running family we have become is one of the many reasons I run.

Daddy?

2008-12-05T17:25:00.000-08:00

We were sitting on the couch the other night and Blondy was across from us on the other couch. Hubby had the remote so the TV was on the Outdoor channel...

I hear Blondy say:

blondy:
Daddy?

hubby:
Yea bud?

blondy:
Do you ever feel bad when you shoot
the animals?

hubby: No
(cautiously)

blondy:
(very
seriously at first) You
are a bad, bad man... (giggles)
Yep, he's a crack up all right. Does he want to NOT go hunting with his daddy? Heck no! He just might feel a little bad on his first kill that's all and that's OK... as long as I'm not there to cry MY eyes out.

Thankful

2008-11-28T12:33:00.000-08:00

The boys and I participated in the 3rd Annual Run For Food here at the park. Although it was a lot of stop and go we had a good first 5K.

I'm so thankful for so many things. This time of year is so hard sometimes thinking about my Grandparents and wishing I could spend the holidays with them. They have been gone 5 years this coming month. The hubby is having a tough holiday season too. His maternal Gpa passed in June and it seems his Paternal Gpa is close to finding his way Home. The last few years have been hard for him but these last few weeks have been agonizing. The hubby and Hollywood are there with him now taking care of Do Not Transport, Do Not Resuscitate and other paper work to make this time easier for his Gpa and Gma. They are taking shifts so he won't have to be alone during the day.

So much to be thankful for, mostly today... I'm thankful for my children, my wonderfully caring husband and my family and friends. You family and friends in blogging in world count too.

THANK YOU!

What a week

2008-11-20T20:37:00.000-08:00

I've been sick and sort of down this week. Headache, not enough running, not enough eating RIGHT. The kids are being great and the hubby has been super about helping out since I've been feeling like a ton of bricks but I still feel like I'm dropping the ball. It hurts to reach from the inside of the washer to drop the clothes inside the dryer. It hurts to run down the hall when the kids are fighting or to answer the door or the phone. My head feels like its being blown up from the inside like the opposite of a slow leak in a balloon... it just gets a little bigger every few hours until when... it finally bursts? My back aches and this nagging leg thing worries me.

Mentally actually I'm ready for this race. The kids are excited even the hubby is even though its probably eating into his duck hunting escapades. I am giving him ALL of December to hunt to his hearts desire and I haven't had the time to tell him that January starts a whole new half marathon program. This is MY life long hobby... well and of course photography.

Let me tell you a little big about whats going on in Hollywood's life. He has been Rocking in his Guitar class. His instructor is amazed how fast he is picking up on everything. I'm amazed. I wish anything came that naturally to me. He has also taken up playing Chess at school with Mr. Obi's chess club. They had their fist tournament last week and he one his first game but lost his second. That's OK though. I'm so proud of him. He's reading books about chess and how to strategizeand look ahead steps. He wants to teach me but really what I like learning about his the history of it more than the game itself. Sorry Bud you'll have to play with Daddy or Grandpa.

Blondy has no interest in anything formal right now. I think I'll look into soccer for him since he goes back and forth on that but its the only thing he has even said on his own he might try. He still draws wonderfully and is a wonderful story teller. His headaches have become far fewer since we've eliminated may of the foods that seem to be triggers. Just can't take away the chocolate though. If you ask him his favorite food guess what he'll say?

The FFP has been working mostly on the ambulance but has had a rotation out at his old station for the set so he can get some engine time. I'm happy for him. He needed a bit of a break since he's not trained on that truck yet.

My parents are headed up to see my sis for Thanksgiving and FFP's parents are taking G'ma Margie to Monterey for the holiday to get out of town. This will be a hard year without G'pa Derril. I'm trying to decide if I should buy one of those meals you just pick up at Marie Calenders or Safeway or if we should just wait and cook on Friday when the hubby is home even though he'll get to eat at the station on Thanksgiving. It would be nice to all be together though.

Who's there?

2008-11-15T19:52:00.001-08:00

There's somebody sneaking fat onto my butt making my pants not fit... I swear its not me.

Photo Friday

2008-11-14T15:47:00.000-08:00

First and formost the hubby may be headed to Santa Barbara for the Tea Fire. Our thoughts and prayers are with the firefighters and those living in the devestated area. No matter if you have a million dollar plus home or not its devistating to loose it to a fire. One fire captain suffered injuries after a roof colapse but seems to be doing better today, he did have sugnificant burns though. So far there has been a total of 13 injuries due to the fire.

Hollywoods chess tournament is now going to be on Tuesday so he will have a few more days to practice. He is learning how to CASTLE although I have NO idea what that means. Given that I don't even know HOW to play chess I guess that would not be a surprise. Mr. Obi is doing a great job teaching them how to look to future moves and plan out your stratagy for the game. Hollywood is eating it up.

This week I took the hubby's cousin, Garin and his parents to the tree farm to do his Senior Portrait session. What a great kid he is. He made the session nearly effortless. My main intent was to use NO flash and only use natural light and as it got later and later that became more of a problem as my shutter speed s-l-o-w-e-d down especially in the bamboo area. I did get some great pix and I'm glad I could do that for them. Here are a few of my favorites.

2008-11-14T09:20:00.000-08:00

Hollywood is participating in his FIRST chess tournament today at school. He is so excited. I hope he does well. GOOD LUCK BUDDY!

Wordless Wednesday

2008-11-12T13:44:00.000-08:00

My Blondy at the pumpkin patch a few weeks ago.

Humanitarian, not Republican

2008-11-11T17:48:00.000-08:00

This is about California's Prop 8. If you are tired of the politics, tired of the energy and effort and millions of dollars that went into backing or fighting this letgislation I think you might not want to go any farther.

I am a registered Republican, I'm not a Democrat. I have far more conservative views than mainstream American. I think that original ideals of Proposition 8 debate have been thrown completely out of preportion. I voted no. I did. I wasn't going to at first, mostly because of the way most of my family and friends were voting, which was yes.But the more I thought about it the more I disagreed with it. Apparently California, a very liberal state did not agree with me. Again Gay Marriage has been found unconstitutional by the people even though the state Superior Court has already overturned one Gay Marriage propostion finding IT unconstitutional. What a waste of money. I think that Prop 8 is discrimination, no questions asked.

So I found this on Little Miss Runner Pants and thought that you may not agree, you may even look at me with different perspective and not in the light you had thought but it is how I feel and very much how I would like to have said it myself.

A little bit of Firefighter Jake in your life

2008-11-07T16:00:00.000-08:00

Gotta love hand puppets... for adults. Especially for Firefighters and Police officers and those who love them.

struggles

2008-11-04T21:09:00.000-08:00

Tonight I know that my struggles and my issues are little compared to others. I know I really have no reason to complain. Tonight my heart struggles to do just that. There is a friendship that walks just out of my reach. This friendship was a mainstay for almost 3 years. We have watched out children grow and our husbands do boy things. We have met each others friends and taken time away from each other and found each other again.

I'm afraid that that is over though. This friend has gone through a tremendous stress and for her to be beyond us letting her help them, this is too much for me. For her to not want to be a part of our lives anymore and to avoid me for no other reason than to not relive any part of this past is too much for me.

In four months since this tragedy in their lives I've spoken to her twice, once on the phone, once in person with one of her other friends there. I ask questions that friends should be able to ask but she balks at. I don't know where the distance came from but its there and I'm afraid we'll never get that closeness back. Its not for a lack of trying. Its not for want. I've done all but begged and I don't know what else to do. I don't want to give it all up because her, her children, her husband live so alive in my heart although they are so far away in my life. I just don't know what to do next, and I'm so tired of it bringing me to tears.

POST 200!

2008-10-28T14:55:00.001-07:00

I can't believe this is my 200th post! So much has happened in the last 199 posts that I don't even know where to start. This was supposed to be an update on the kiddos and the family but it turned out to be so personal. Its about my struggles to be a good mom, wife, friend. Its about learning new and exciting things and relearning things over and over again because I just can't seem to absorb some situations the way I should. Its been about achievements and failures. Its been about the past, present and future. Its been about finding me... or looking for me rather. Thank you for looking in on me, here and there, every once in a while and leaving me tidbits of you in the comments. I love to get comments.

You my friends and family rock.

"Today was a good day. Because I have you, I can do anything." words that live in my soul that I wish I could tell my hubby tonight. Alas.. again, I'm a sorta single mommy. It will have to wait til tomorrow.

Grrrr......

2008-10-23T15:12:00.000-07:00

In general my husband isn't an Ass. I mean he has his moments but for the most part is a sweet caring supportive guy. But ... right now he's a Jackass X10.

We went on two vacations this year. We went to Disneyland and to Seattle as a family. He took 5 days off of work to go to Colorado this week with his dad and his brother to hunt Deer and Elk. I had no problem letting him go. This week wasn't bad. We all missed him but with our little routine it all went pretty smoothly. Today he calls on his way home (he left this morning and will be home sometime tomorrow afternoon) to tell me that its his turn to pick his vacation time and to check to see if any times in October are available. I asked him if we were going to NOT take the kids to Disneyland or NOT take a 10 year anniversary vacation if he goes to Colorado. He told me to do what I want. GRRRR....

Mistake 1.
While you are on your way home with 3 deer and 2 elk in your truck from Colorado where you just spent a week with your dad and brother while your wife is home with your sick kids running the house... DO NOT ASK TO TAKE THAT SAME VACATION NEXT YEAR!

So I get online and check to see what times are available to take vacation. I see that the only week that is taken in February is the week that the kids are off and that we could go to Disneyland. One of those three guys to took that rotation off doesn't have kids. WHAT THE HELL? In my frustration I call him back and he totally chews ME OUT. I called because I was sad and frustrated. He asked what he could do from there. That there was nothing he could do about it and that to pick another time. I didn't even get to say that there was NO OTHER TIME THE KIDS ARE OFF SCHOOL TO TAKE VACATION!

Mistake 2
Snap at your wife. He always calls when he's frustrated with me to roll things around in his head, to get it out, to process it. Its usually not at a good time for me. But he's my husband so I listen and cook dinner and help the kids with homework and do the dishes or laundry all at the same time. HE'S EFING DRIVING!

mistake 3
Snap at your wife over vacation pix while you are on vacation and she probably won't get one next year... asshole.

He calls back. "sorry I was grumpy earlier".

Yea, whatever.

hang up and send him this text message so I don't have to talk to him til later.

"I've been home while u r on vacation 4 a week. I didn't ask you 2 fix it
only 2 listen to my frustration . I'll remember 2 snap @ u next time u call me
about something I have no power over but trying to help the kids with homework
or get dinner on the table. Ya I'm pissed. I'll talk to u tonight."

Do you think he got it? He had better have.

Winding down

2008-10-21T23:11:00.000-07:00

The Hubby, his Papa and Brother have finished the "MAN HUNT" after defeating and dragging home their kill today. I was told this morning to "clean out the freezer woman! I'm bringing home MEAT!" OHHH lucky me. I'm so glad he's coming home. Not so happy that I have to clean out the freezer tomorrow on top of everything else. So I'll go for my run, I'll clean out the freezer then take a shower. I'll clean the house and help the kiddos with their homework and maybe even feed them a nutritious dinner tomorrow night instead of just snacking after school til bedtime like we have been doing. At least we have been snacking healthy, apple slices with peanut butter, veggies with ranch dressing,Breakfast in the evening, ohhh the Costco Pizza. I guess not the last one. So anyone like Venison and Elk? apparently I'll have a whole freezer full of it by Saturday.

While the hubby has been gone I finished the 2nd,3rd and 4th books in the Twilight series. I loved them. I thought some of the reviews were pretty harsh and these books were a lot better than some of the books I read in Jr. High and High School. So as far as being geared for young adult I thought that they were appropriate. Of course I have boys, I don't think I have to worry about them reading them when they get old enough. They are definitely geared towards girls. It will be interesting to see when the movie comes out.

I was a bit bugged by how dense the character Bella was but then again I was pretty dense in High school too. Actually I should say I was in denial about some things and it was just easier to play dumb then to see some things for what they were. I understand that. I also understand the whole falling in love in High School. I met FFP my Junior year, I told my friend that night I was going to marry him. I was engaged at 19 and married at 21. I wasn't much older then Bella when that part of my life came together. Today I'm struggling with being scared to go back to school. I know today I will be much more of a persistent student. I don't think this book is going to make girls go out and marry the boy they are with so they can have sex like some of the reviews have said. How silly. You don't thinks girls are sleeping with boys before they get married,umm... before they say I love you,... Um ... on the first date or at a party? Where ever these people are who write the reviews are not in reality themselves. Lets just throw a bunch of Vampires and American Indians who turn into wolves into the mix. Does it seem fathomable now? UGH.

Easy reads I could not put down. I'm no more intelligent for reading them but they had deep character content and an engaging plot. So if you are tired (like I am) of reading some heavy material and just need a break you can pick up this series about a vampire family ( who doesn't drink human blood) and a girl who falls in love with their whole family and leave your boring little life for a little town called Fork, Washington for a few hours. I did

So Tired

2008-10-20T12:47:00.000-07:00

Geeze I wish I could say I was tired from my very first 20 mile run yesterday but I don't think thats it. I've really just been having trouble sleeping. Last night I was EXTATIC to get 6 1/2 hours almost completely uninterupted. I never had problems sleeping with the hubby not home before. In general he's not gone for this long, but I do spend at least 1/3 of the month with the whole bed to myself. Generally I love it. This trip he's taking to Colorado has really messed up my brain though. I have anxiety more than usual. It hits 9pm and I'm just not tired. I end up tossing and turning til I give up and pick up a book. I can't fall asleep reading, I actually have to take the book and lay it far away from me so I can put it out of my head or it will keep me up thinking about what I'm missing by not reading it. I put a strict 11pm lights out cerfew on my reading but had to forgo it last night. I only read for an hour before turning off the lights and closing my eyes.

My schedule is not changed much now that my oldest is well, then my youngest gets that cold but not as bad. I really just want a nap. Problem is then I'll have trouble falling asleep tonight. I'm afraid I might have trouble falling asleep anyhow. I don't know. I just wish the cycle could be broken, the anxiety overwith, the hubby home.

Getting back to normal

2008-10-16T12:46:00.000-07:00

Hollywood is feeling more like himself every day. He still has a scratchy throat but his energy level is up and he's eating like a horse again by the afternoon (still not so much in the morning but I'm ok with that). The Hubby left today with his brother and dad to go on a MAN TRIP. They were off to Cold Colorado for some Elk and Deer hunting adventures. They will be gone a week and a half. I will SO be ready for them to come home by like ... day after tomorrow or so. LOL.

I didn't get a run in today because I went to the store and got cleaning supplies and scrubbed the bathrooms top to bottom. I guess I could go and squeeze out a 3 mile run if I go right now...

No Way Jose

2008-10-13T21:06:00.000-07:00

I got no run in today. The biggest little man is sick, fever, chills, cough, stomach ache... etc. Bummer. I could have used a 4 mile run today. I felt a bit out of sorts myself. I'm a little worried about being a single mommy for 13 days. I hate it when he's gone that long. I don't think I could stand to be away for almost two weeks. Away from him, away from my boys. He is totally digging into my running schedule too. Doesn't he know this Marathon is upon us. It is less than 2 months away and I am going a bit crazy just thinking about it. Of course he doesn't get it. This big prep for me is like waiting on an elk for him. But I have a hell of a lot more work to do first. He realized last weekend that he was a bit out of shape. WHAT? You are going to go trapsing around rugged mountainous terrain and not even be IN SHAPE? Are you trying to kill yourself? Apparently yes. One more reason for me to be all freaked out. I know, I have issues. Issues that I can't seem to get over. Issues that loom in my subconsious waiting to erupt in anxiety and panic over something I have no control over. See didn't I tell you I needed a run?

Tomorrow night is speed work. That should make me hurt... and feel better.

One of those days

2008-10-13T19:08:00.000-07:00

Today was a better day then I thought it was going to be considering that Hollywood has been sporting a fever since Saturday and Blondy is being pretty unbearable right now. I'm not sure if he's getting sick or not but there hasn't been too many blow ups between the boys mostly because Hollywood just doesn't have the energy.

Everyone but me was in bed last night by 8pm, Hollywood and FFP fell asleep early and Blondy took a little longer but it was nice to watch my shows with a bit of peice. I decided to forgo the glass of wine I wanted because I wasn't sure I could get up with either kid if they needed me since I was so tired (physically anyway). Sure enough Hollywood was up and around about 9:30, fever spiked and croupy cough to boot. He just wanted to see his daddy. I couldn't blame him, I was a bit scared by his labored breathing too. Daddy got him calmed down, and some water. He was breathing better and FFP headed back to bed. Hollywood asked me to lay down and rub his back. At 10pm I headed to watch Brothers and Sisters and at 11pm I was off to bed. 2am he was back up. ahhhhh... being a mommy. True... I had some wierd tinge of satifaction that then he called out to me. Mostly because its always been DADDY for him.

This morning was hard. I was wiped. I knew that Hollywood had to get up and dressed even though he wasn't going to school. 5:40am he was in the shower then back to bed. I was up and around and dreading the morning but it went smoothly. At 10:15 he was at the Good Doctor for a review to make sure he didn't have an ear infection. All clear on that front. then off to ice cream, rent a new movie, grab lunch and head home for the afternoon. Not a bad day all in all.

The rest of the day went fairly well but Blondy is being a regular pill. When I called him to dinner he stood up on the couch (a big NO NO) and promply fell off hitting the side of his head on the coffee table and giving himself a headache. Ahhhh..... All I need now is for him to get sick or me to.

Hubby leaves Thursday for a 2 week vacation.... I'm sure you will be hearing a lot from me then.

Sicko Kiddo

2008-10-13T13:51:00.000-07:00

Saturday the little man was feeling a little down, a little blah a little under the weather. My Hollywood is officially SICK! No school today and maybe not tomorrow either. Poor little man, poor mom.

Busted

2008-10-06T14:49:00.001-07:00

My Hollywood, My eight year old, my 3rd grader got in an argument with his buddy T-Rex during recess today. Hollywood said that T-Rex said that he was a big trash can full of "SH*T".

Apparently that offended Wyatt (not sure if it was offensive after he got caught or before) so he retaliated and told T-Rex

"Well you're a big swimming pool full of 'SH*T"

Nice hu?

Could they have kept that to themselves? No of course not. T-Rex told K then told her to keep it a secret.

WHAT? You told a goody two shoes sweetie pie THAT kind of secret then expect her NOT to go to their teacher and tell? Now they are mad at K. LOL! boys.

Deal was they stayed after school with a nice little chat with the teacher. The deal was that they tell their parents what REALLY happened. We would have a little strategy meeting in the morning and if the truth is out no pink slip home. But OHHH that is so just the beginning...

Here at home? No guitar lesson today (he doesn't know that his instructor was sick), he's getting soap in his mouth and he gets to tell his Daddy. I think the latter is where the real punishment lays. Of course the FFP is no angel and where do you think the words that fling themselves out of my son's mouth come from?

Hmmmm.....

ABC's of ME

2008-10-06T09:19:00.001-07:00

A Survey To Keep My Mind Occupied
A. Attached or single? very attached
B. Best friend? my Fire Fighter provider, Kelli, Sista, Jenni (Good Neighbor)
C.Cake or pie? Pie All the way
D. Dog or cat? dog :)
E. Essential item? running shoes and Body Glide (for running... get your mind out of the gutter)
F. Favorite color? Red
G. Gummy bears or worms? Gimme the worms in chocolate pudding with crushed oreos! YUMMO
H. Hometown? Chico, Ca
I. Favorite indulgence? chocolate on a girl trip to Napa for a spa day and wine tasting
J. January or July? July, I hate being cold.
K. Kids? Two Handsom and healthy boys
L. Life isn’t complete without? Family & Friends
M. Marriage date? 6/12/1999
N. Number of brothers and sisters? 1 sister 2 Sister-in-law, 3 brothers-in-law.
O. Oranges or apples? apples covered in caramel.
P. Phobias? Losing loved ones, hights, boats, open water
Q. Quote? I like so many I can't pin down just one
R. Reason for smiling? Hubby, boys, running, reading a great book
S. Season of choice? fall
T. Travel dreams? Paris, Rome, Irland, a beach in the Caribean, next year is our 10 year anniv but don't know where we're going yet, Going to Disneyland in February, Seattle in March
U. Unknown fact about me? I AM AWFUL WITH $$$
V. Vegetable?lots, I'm on an Artichoke kick right now
W. Worst habit? Self Doubt and spending $
X. X-ray or ultrasound? either....doesn't really bother me
Y. Your favorite restaurants? Mexican ones with big margaritas.
Z. Zodiac sign? Pisces.

Its all about PERSONALITY

2008-10-06T08:44:00.000-07:00

Took this personality/whats your best job test this morning and it pretty much hits me on the head. So me its kind of scary.

Here is the link to my results but this is what it said:

http://www.41q.com/type.41q?p=24684313

Your personality type:
Quiet, reflective and idealistic. Interested in serving humanity. Well-developed value system, which they strive to live in accordance with. Extremely loyal. Adaptable and laid-back unless a strongly-held value is threatened. Usually talented writers. Mentally quick and able to see possibilities. Interested in understanding and helping people.

Careers that could fit you includes:
Writers, artists, counselors, social workers, English teachers, fine arts teachers, child care workers, clergy, missionaries, psychologists, psychiatrists, scientists, political activists, editors, education consultants, journalists, religious educators, social scientists.

Wanna know what it says for little ole' you? Go HERE

Strength and Graditude

2008-10-05T21:52:00.000-07:00

It may be October which is Breast Cancer Awareness Month but today I ran in the Sacramento Cowtown Half Marathon to raise awareness and funds for the Leukemia/Lymphoma Society. As Breast Cancer's influence on my life is so prominent I wanted to do something beyond my walks for someone who meant so much to me. My Uncle James passed away from Leukemia 2 years ago. My Aunt Sandy has not just supported my Breast Cancer Walks financially but also emotionally as her way to find a care for all cancers. For the last few months she's been by her friend Vicki's side while Vicki has gone through treatment for lung cancer. Last week we got the news, for now... hopefully forever... Vicki is cancer free.I feel like I'm talking in circles. I hate that cancer is waiting around every corner, lurking and waiting to take over our lives.

What I wanted to say was I may speak loudly and proficiently about the Breast Cancer walks but today was about doing something special in memory of my Uncle James, in his Memory, in his Honor.

Today I felt him with me. I even took him with me, my little Jiminy Cricket on my shirt, giving me strength, giving me confidence and letting me push myself to a new level. Mostly I just love and miss him and today, for him I ran... for 13.1 miles in under 2 hours. Faster than I ever imagined because there were wings carrying or an umbrella carrying me through this race. Thank you Uncle James for loving me. Today for you I put it all on the line.

Tomorrow I run

2008-10-04T19:42:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow I'm participating in my second half marathon. This one is for the lymphoma/leukemia society called the Sacramento Cowtown. I can't wait. I'm a bit scared but I'm off to get my clothes and grub together. I'll let you know the details later!

So long, so much to say

2008-10-02T11:29:00.000-07:00

Our computer got infected with Adware and had to be taken to the "Geek Squad" for rehabilitation. For a week I've been struggling then missing my sweet computer. Of course I tried talking the hubby into just buying a laptop but I knew this is not the time for that. I have more important BIG TICKET ITEMS in the mix first, like a new camera, a bed frame, mattresses for the boys, Hubby's elk hunting trip, Christmas... you know the usual. I'm a bit worried about this economic breakdown we're having in the US and the hubby seems rocked but not faltered by it. He did get depressed after talking to our financial planner and finding that our retirement fund has dropped by 25% in the last six months. I tried to remind him that this $ will be there for another 25 years and by GOD it had better grow. Buying a lap top now is not in the mix. ahhh... I'll just have to keep blogging on the days he's at work.

Family News. The boys have lots of fun field trips coming up. Hollywood is learning about the Maidu Indians native to this part of California. I've only printed like a million pages or so of info on them. Third grade is all about our County and its heritage. We will be going to the Gold Nugget Museum in Paradise next week for a field trip. Blondy played the main part as the OLD Johnny Appleseed in his class play last week and Grandma Margie got to join us for the performance and she loved it. I'm so glad she's getting out doing things she's always wanted to do. The hubby is preparing for his 2 week backwoods adventure with his dad, brother and buddy in Colorado. I get heart palpitations just thinking about it, both the being alone with the kids that long and worry that something might happen. I get that from my Grandma Riggins, I can't help it but I need to not dwell on it as much. UGH my stomach just turned again.

Me? well mostly all the same. I'm gearing up for photography season, colors changing, families preparing for Holiday pictures and such. I'm hoping to get some senior pix done too. I run my second official half Marathon (mary) on Sunday and I hope it doesn't rain. I need to look over my clothing since it will be cool in the morning, much cooler and perhaps wet even for the Sacramento Cowtown Half Marathon for the Leukemia Lymphoma society. I ran 16 miles last weekend... all at once! After the race I will be headed to Yuba City for my friends baby shower. Its killing me that they decided to wait to find out the sex of the baby. I can't wait for anything. I don't like surprises, er... I don't like having to wait for surprises but if they are just flung on me (ahem... the Emily factor) I love them to pieces.

It is October, Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Check your boobies for lumps or changes. Schedule your Mammogram if you haven't yet. I'm already signed up for San Francisco AWBC and I'll let you know when my site is up and running. That's my life at the moment!

OH I almost forgot. Good neighbor, the one who swore up and down that she's not a runner... will be RUNNING the 5K for the Almond Bowl in a few weeks. I've converted another one. YIPEE!

October

2008-09-27T22:47:00.000-07:00

We are quickly approaching October, my favorite month of the year. We usually get our first Official Rain Drops, the trees are all changing, the air is cooler, the nights lovely, the sleep more peaceful, the apples and pumpkins and roasts cooking in the crock pots. October is a lovely month!

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Did you know that? Well if you are reading my blog you probably did. You know that what started as a dedication and tribute to my MIL turned into a passion to educate others about Breast Cancer and how I hope that a cure for BC is the key to finding a cure for other cancers. WhyMommy has had quite a year and a half from being preggo with her second son to a not too rare but rarely spoke of form of BC to surgery to remove her breasts and a struggle with lymphodemia she has had her share of trials. If anything she has given us the opportunity to not only talk of BC but of the lesser known forms that threaten to take our friends from us.

We have learned a lot from Susan (aka WhyMommy) over at Toddler Planet and I am thankful for her peace, her spirit and her heart. I am blessed to have read her words. I am more educated, more apathetic and a far better advocate because of her. She has bad days, weeks, months... actually she had a bad year but she she loves to play with her boys and take walks with her hubby and hang out with her friends. Things that I like to do, things she deserves to do that she NO longer takes for granted. Although, today, it looks like she's cancer free with Inflammatory Breast Cancer there really is no such thing and she will continue to worry and continue to be vigilant about her care and her body to catch the monster if it again rears its angry head. Susan will continue to be in my prayers.

MIL Karen loved her flowers. She deserved them. 5 years is a HUGE milestone and she deserves the recognition.

While you are out and about and you see pink ribbon anything... think of someone who might like the sweet little bear, think if those note pads would remind you to get your Mammy's grammed if they were sitting on your desk, think that the pink cup with the ribbon would make you think of your sister or mom when you sat down to your cup of coffee tomorrow morning and get it, knowing that part of that money will be going to research, to women, to men who have Breast Cancer. Remember to think beyond you and to our future with hopes that no little girl needs to walk in a walk to end Breast Cancer. Pink ribbons should be worn in their hair not on their sweaters.

Its BACK! Give me my GREYS

2008-09-25T21:11:00.001-07:00

Grey's is on and it does not disappoint! Ok its back.... yipee! hmm...
Beware if you want to watch this episode its CHOCK FULL OF SPOILERS!)

trauma
ice storms
men in Army Uniforms
(edit* trauma surgeon in Army uniform who does CRAZY procedures to save lives
Trauma surgeon who staples his own leg laceration)
Pen Tracheotomy (cristina is right, that is hot)
women in ball gowns
Bailey in a huff
Sloan's voice, and face and body hiding behind that Dr. coat
McDreamy.... ahhhhh I might say that a few more times
commercial conversations with my bestie (who has yet to call to chat!)
who's sleeping with who?
blood and blood and more blood
Callie being a bad ass
George being... George
McDreamy....McDreammy, McDreamy
Rose is a bitch? wow the women scorned!
Alex... softy or asshole? asshole or softy?
Hann... just annoys the CRAP out of me
So the affair between Hann and Callie? What the heck happened?
Will Rose tell Derick about the baby before the LAST FREAKIN MINUTE?
Will Derick really move in with Marideth?
Is there really a happily ever after?
mmm sleeping next to McDreamy...
Nope, Alex is an asshole
Hann is going to drive me crazy
Izzy is what? stick sticking her foot in her mouth
Lexie is swooning over George, WHAT the heck? George is well, GEORGE
McDreamy....
Chief is in denial
Somebody, for the love of CHRIST
(thank you God for giving us Greys Anatomy, amen)
take HANN AWAY, FAR, FAR AWAY!
Derick giving bad news... that sucks
Rose is not knocked up, just a bitch
Chief is freaking out, under a facade of still relaxed confidence
Derick is chatty, according to Merideth
Cristina is going to kill Merideth
SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!!
SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!

HAPPILY EVER AFTER DOES NOT EXIST!
thank you Cristina for putting into prospective

OHH SHIT! Cristina just got hit by a HUGE ICE CYCLE!
Damn Karma
I love Greys
That surgeon, the army one... will he get together with Cristina? she needs to get laid
Derick is pissed over this chirogenic therapy thing... isn't it the patients decision if its too risky? or is Chief being a freak? Is it all Callies fault or the Army surgeons
Will Derick go to Merideths in a bad mood?
I don't like this... I think something bad is going to happen to the frozen guy
bad bad bad
callie is freaking out (er frozen, pun intended)
well maybe they deserve #12 with all their cavalier chauvinistic idealist ideas hu?
Alex has insight... even for an ass
Callie is FREAKING OUT
Hann is being uhhhh a teacher
Cristina still has a freakin ice cube in her abdomen or chest
OHHH Army Surgeon took it out
hmmm....
Chief breaks down blames the rank list on Meridith, cause its ALL HER FAULT

I missed my GREYS yes I did.

5 year Survivor

2008-09-18T10:10:00.000-07:00

5 years ago today my MIL was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. It rattled the cages of everyone in my husbands family. Cancer is no stranger to me. I've lost many friends and family to it. Many more have been touched, crushed and risen from its depths. Myself, my mom, two of my uncles, My Mother-in-law and many friends are survivors of cancer. My grandfather, My husbands grandpa, my Uncle, and close family friends have all been taken by Cancer. I walk in the AWBC to raise awareness and $ to get us that much closer to a cure. I couldn't do it without your love and support though.

This day, this 5 year mark is a milestone for Karen. Congratulations, you are a 5 year Survivor! I hope you enjoy the flowers.

A Day to Never Forget

2008-09-11T12:47:00.002-07:00

During my very long, was supposed to be 10 but turned into 7 mile run today I thought about today... about what it means to be in America 7 years after that infamous day. Where were you? What were you doing 9/11/2001?

I was sitting on my bed, holding my 13 month old baby, sick as a dog pregnant with my second wondering if the world was going to end... all day the facts flooded in, some true some far from it, but all daunting, all bad, all sad. That day our world changed and it will never be the same again.

A little Armstrong for the DAY

2008-09-10T17:11:00.003-07:00

Welcome Back Lance! Can you hear the THUMP, THUMP, THUMP of my heart? Another Tour and this boy isn't training for second place...

This reminds me of my Hollywood

2008-09-07T17:00:00.001-07:00

Update

2008-09-05T10:58:00.000-07:00

School is in full swing, Fire Season is coming to an end (we think) and the fall is quickly approaching. A few things that are coming in the coming months include more family and senior portraits for me, lots of field trips for the kiddo's, a hunting vacation for FFP, his brother, his dad and perhaps a good friend if he can swing the time away from his fam for two weeks. Of course when they return I will be in full swing for Marathon training, for Holidays, for planning next years vacations.

It seems that there is no more down time. I hope that for the Winter Break we can relax and enjoy our Christmas with our families, we can relax and enjoy our New Years and go back to school refreshed and renewed and ready for the second half of the year. I'm looking so forward to what this fall and winter will bring us all, new experiences, a freezer full of elk, multiplication tables, reading achievements, local history, arts and crafts, a marathon program, a marathon, time together...

Next weekend, July 12th through the 15th I will be traveling with my mom and my Aunt Sandy to LA to walk in my second Avon Walk for Breast Cancer. I am so excited to spend 4 days with them all to myself. I hope we get to hit one eveing at Disneyland but I'm not sure if that will happen. LOL

Labor Day Weekend

2008-08-29T20:34:00.000-07:00

The FFP is working a 72 hour shift this weekend so I get the kiddos to myself. Hopefully tomorrow we will head up to the parents house so I can get my 4 miles in before my long run on Sunday.

All in all school year has started off on the right foot. Hollywood really likes his class and his teacher. He's reading a bunch and doing GREAT in math. I'm so proud of him. Although we are only two and a half weeks in we have yet to have a problem with our chatter box.

Blondy got a wonderful teacher too. She is so sweet and creative. Just what he needs. He is having issues with his penmanship but we are working on that. He always comes home with a funny story from (the Barry Patch) class.

The other day Gpa Deual taught the boys this little rhyme he learned as a boy. Here it goes:

Birdy, Birdy in the sky

Please don't poop in my eye

I don't care, I won't cry

I'm just glad

that elephants don't fly

Blondy has told everyone possible this little gem and repeats it several times a day. Lucky us!

If you want to hear another funny but true story about the crazy girls at our local gym head on over to my other blog to hear all about the Thursday Night Princesses

I'm having a pretty darn good day

2008-08-16T13:58:00.000-07:00

My kiddo's had a great first week of school. Blondy doesn't seem to mind being at school all day long although I do need to figure out how to get him to eat more while he's there. He loves his teacher and has lots of new friends. His teacher is very artistic and I'm looking forward to the things he brings home this year.

Hollywood has a wonderful teacher and is so excited about 3rd grade. He's picking out challenging books and looking forward to a year of new and exciting adventures. I'm so excited for him. He has some of his really good friends in class with him and some in other classes too. Thats putting us in a position to meet new families and make new friends as well. One of Hollywoods friends is getting a new little sister this winter and all the kids (and parents too) are super excited about it.

I feel like they are prepared. Although we didn't do anything specifically educational we did do a lot of reading and looking up on the Internet about animals they are interested in or just talked about how things aren't the same here as in China where the Olympics are being held. We talked about sports and they swam in the local summer team program. I am so proud of them. They are becoming strong independent and sweet little boys.

Today we took them out and bought them new shoes and new socks. They are pretty full on the clothes front so I thought I would wait a few weeks to see what they needed after the crowds part a bit. They will need pants but its still 100*F out there. OUCH! I hate to even have to ask them to try them on. I will need to buy something before pictures next week I guess since nothing they own is a solid color.

Now next week the real homework piles on. I think I'm ready.

Seattle Rocks

2008-08-13T12:28:00.000-07:00

We took a vacation to the Seattle Area to visit some frienda who moved there about a year and a half ago and to see my sista, BIL and the fam. We had a great time.

It only took 11 hours to actaully drive up there with a stop in Medford for Breakfast and snacking the rest of the way. We met the Maurus Family when Hollywood was in Kindergarten with Harrison. They moved up to the Seattle Araa when Jim took a possition with Boing. Anyway, seeing them was wonderful, like we see them everyday. I really feel like we need more time with them but I was anxious to see my sista, the kiddo's and go to Seattle for the day too. The great thing about this vacation is that we only had to get one nights hotel room on the way home.

anyway we had tri-tip the first night, yummy yummy and the kids played like no time had ever gone by. We got to visit, and play. Tracey and Jim are like home... its so natural to be with them. On Tuesday Tracey and I went for a 4.25 mile walk through her neighborhood and up this steep ass hill. Crazy pushing the stroller but Baby Bea is so worth it. It felt good since I didn't think I'd have any time to run on this vacation.

Then we went to the Museum of Flight. There are different wings of the museum and even an outdoor area where the first Air Force One is on display. FFP and I could have spent HOURS in the WWI and WWII fighter plane area. There were so many stories and planes from so many places in there you could stay for days. We went to the other areas where there were fighter jets and "carplanes" to see too. there was a moc cockpit on two different fighter jets you could sit in and "pretend" you were flying. The kids had a great time and thank you to Tracey and the kids for taking us.

We took them out for dinner that night at a place called The Rock. It had yummy pizza and salad there to enjoy. We bought to thank the Maurus family for their hospitality. Tracey and I had a drink, then Jim ordered us "jello shots" out of huge syringes (wish I had a pic of that). Tracey said they would be expert Jello shot makers by the time we came up there again. We talked about their Disney Time share a bit and headed off to bed.

Wednesday we got up packed up and drove to the Ferry to take the trip to Seattle with the Sista's fam. I... DO.... NOT... LIKE... BOATS. Mostly because I don't like water. But I don't like the feeling of being on a boat either. The swaying and the sloshing noise just make me want to puke. The thought of having to swim to shore if something happend just freaks me out. Yea I know, I'm a pansy but at least I can admit it.I thanked God for dry land and headed for Pikes Market. The flowers were georgous, the flying fish were increadable. I was amazed and had we not had so many people to keep track of I could have spent so long piddling around there. I stoped at Market Spice and got myself and a friend some yummy orange tea. The taste is amazing and I don't need to sweeten the tea at all. We then headed for Safeco Field to see a Mariners game. How fun was that?!?! It was amazing. I'm wierd I know. I love the feel of being at a major league game. Of course I don't like the price of ONE MIKES HARD LEMONADE at $7.50 a pop. OUCH. but the boys each got a hat and a foam finger and the Twims Kicked their asses so it was all a good time. Headed back home on the Ferry and tried really hard not to have a panic attack.

We ate at Famous Daves. YUMMY and I I had a great big margarita with my ribs. I drank alcohol on EVERY day of this vacation. I have never done that before. I don't think I've even ever drank two days in a row before. EVER. LOL.

We went to a Zoo typed place on Friday, it had indigenous animals to the NorthWest there. all the "Preditory" and/or smaller animals were in open enclosures like a zoo and the larger grazing animals you took a tram around to see them in their natural habitat. Out in the free roam area there were Deer, Bison, Elk, Caribou, Big horned sheep and lots more. The kids loved all the animals and we really did have a great time there.

Sista and BIL took us to this Japaneese resturant like a Benni Hana where they cook all the food for you right there at the table. It was a lot of fun. The kids thought it was great. the food was wonderful and so was the company. I wish I had taken pix. Next time maybe.

My baby is turning 8

2008-07-29T22:47:00.001-07:00

8 can you believe it. Where did the last 8 years go? He is so funny and smart and stubborn. He has so much energy and picks things up so fast. He is wise beyond his years and still the class clown. He talks too much but ponders and pushes to get answers to questions beyond his class requirements. He is beautiful and happy. He is giving hugs and kisses again and saying "I love you" just to say it. I love it, it makes my heart melt. He loves his daddy so much too... He can't wait for FFP to walk through the door or pick him up from school or take him swimming at Gma and Gpa's house. He loves to go fishing and hunting with his dad and his uncle and his Gpa. He's a dreamer and realist. He is so spiritual that he floors me every day with thoughts about Gpa Derril or Poppy and Gram, of heaven and Earth and what comes after life. He communicates differently than most boys his age many times and sometimes he does just act his age. He is my first miracle. I am so blessed to have him as my son.

He is my Drama King so he was nicknamed "Hollywood".

Lady in Pink

2008-07-18T12:19:00.001-07:00

The funny thing is I don't particularly like pink. I feel the need to wear it because its femimine and I have a testosterone filled house that needs ballance. I'm also commited to finding a cure for Breast Cancer which includes LOTS AND LOTS of PINK. I much prefer RED. But whatever. Pink makes me feel like a girl. I have had comment after comment about my PINK running attire while running with my 10k group. They can spot me a mile away. I've been called "the lady in pink", The pretty pink runner," just "PINK" and I'm sure other names too. I've been asked if there are any other colors in my wardrobe, I've answered that pink is only in my running wardrobe and very little in my everyday clothing but find myself wearing my running clothes all day so I don't have to chance mid afternoon then change again after a workout. Its sinking into my head, and my closet. Hubby hangs my running clothes (so I can't find them, even though I have ALWAYS put them in the armoir) so there are splashes of pink when I look for everyday clothes. My favorite cloud socks are trimmed in pink... My favorite hat, my first AWBC hat from 4 years ago is PINK. I got a new hat that is brown trimmed and embroidered in PINK. So if you see me running past you wave, I generally say hello, good morning or evening to everyone I pass. You'll recognize me, I'll be the girl in PINK.

AWBC SF 2008

2008-07-17T22:39:00.000-07:00

I've had an amazing adventure that I want to share with you. Instead of copy and pasting or worse... retelling the entire story of our marvalous weekend by hand, I am going to give you the link to read for youself. I do only have my Recap of Saturday and Friday on there now but hope to have Sunday's up soon. Hubby is home for the next 6 days! Chances are I will have very little time to update you all on our upcoming fun filled weekend til next weekend. Long story very short: My sista and BIL will be renewing their vows and we have our famous summer birthday party at my parents house this weekend. I'll be sure to post pix as soon as I can.

Here's that link: http://gottagrubnrun.blogspot.com/2008/07/awbc-sf-saturday.html

and

http://gottagrubnrun.blogspot.com/2008/07/most-amazing-food-friday-recap.html

and Friday

http://gottagrubnrun.blogspot.com/2008/07/sunday-last-131-miles.html

Have a great weekend ya'll

I love books

2008-07-08T14:16:00.000-07:00

so when I heard this gal is GIVIN' 'EM AWAY.... I headed right over there and left my little comment to put me in the running. Everybody needs some new pages to turn. Especially when they are STUCK inside due to all the smoke and heat outside. If YOU want to be in the running for some new reads you can go on over too. I hope we all win a new little page turner to enjoy.

MeMe of 6 random facts about me

2008-07-06T21:18:00.000-07:00

*****I posted this over on my running blog too... I wanted to hit all my bases ya know?****

I have never personally been tagged for a meme. Isn't that crazy? I was always jealous of those bloggers who tagged each other because they really wanted to know more about each other and they cared about them as friends. I lurked and rarely left messages but here, on my frequentsly visited running blogs I've felt like I have a niche. I love my frequent visits to various blogs and I'm worried if they go too long and excited every time they leave a new post. Yea, I'm weird.

Kai tagged me for a meme to share with ya'll 6 things you probably don't know about me. Some of you who read this are my nearest and dearest friends and know these things but those running buds online will probably roll your eyes and wonder why I lead such a boring life.

1) I just read: The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch about following your childhood dreams. It is amazing and although there are many of the same things as the book to watch Randy speak and give his last speech is even more magical and I hope that not only did I learn something but that there are a list of things I will never forget from this book. You can catch his speech (1hour 16 minutes long) on you tube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo and its so worth the time.

2) I don't really like to eat. I know I'm weird. My best friend would say, "I have issues". LOL. There are very few foods that really make me want to eat but right now I'm on a Thai food kick and lovin the curry. Of course no one in my family likes it but me so I rarely get it. there are some people in my life who give me a bad time about my 105-112lb frame and 7lb fluctuation... I am actually one of those people who forgets to eat. CRAZY TINA I know. I heard that will change when I'm in full blown marathon training this fall and that I will gain some LBs from the non-stop eating and hunger.

3)I have a huge crush on ... Lance Armstrong. Yes I think he is incredibly hot. (hold on a sec... I'm fanning myself... OK I'm back) He may be an ego maniac but those elite athletes really need to always put themselves first to achieve those insane goals. I don't know what it does for his Karma or mine for having a crush on him, but I will dream from afar (hubby knows all about my slight obsession and I'm OK with his obsession with Angelina Jolie and I can't blame him) because that is definitely enough for me.... well maybe.

4) I moved from a small Bay Area town where I had spent my whole education career to a smaller foothills town my Sophomore year and hated it. The clicks were already formed, I didn't fit in. They ran on asphalt and cement. I thought they were living in the dark ages (and I was recovering emotionally from a diagnosis of Melanoma) so I hung up my running shoes and put on my writing shoes and was the sports editor for the school news paper my Sophomore year. I loved it and sometime I'll figure out if writing was something I want to pursue farther. It's on my childhood dreams list.

5) I want to be apart of building a Habitat for Humanity House. I hadn't ever even said it out loud but its been in my heart as long as I can remember. I was actually just resurfaced on 4th of July and I haven't really slept because its all I've been thinking about.

6) I wish my husband would run with me. I really do. I live having this time for me but it would be so nice to run together. He is not a patient person so I don't think it will be something I get but I'll keep asking and he'll probably smile and say no... and the cycle will continue.

I tag Nancy, Carly, P.O.M. and Shirley and anyone else who might want to do it. Don't forget to link back so we can see what you wrote, especially if you did the meme and but I didn't get a chance to tag you personally.

The Count Down

2008-07-06T13:19:00.000-07:00

Next weekend I will not be able to attend my Aunt's Super Secret 60th birthday that she knows is happening but doesn't know anything about. Isn't that fun, I mean for someone else, not for me... I don't like surprises. I'm the girl who... yea I know.... reads the last chapter of the book first. Its awful, I admit it. That's just how I am. I DO NOT LIKE SURPRISES. I'm OK with them as long as I don't know they are coming. lol. My Aunt on the other hand. I think she savors them... holds onto the suspense as long as she can, she is the essence of LOVING the surprise. I'm envious of that... OK not really. I still want to know and I want to know now.

I know that while they are celebrating an amazing woman who we have been blessed to have for 60 amazing years I will be thinking of them as I'm laying in my tent in Chrissy Field in SF. I would have had a MUCH harder time getting my funds for my walk had Aunt Sandy not put together with her friends that amazing Bunco fundraiser mothers day weekend. Together with her friends and Vicki's backyard and months of preparation we raised an amazing $2,100+ for the Breast Cancer walk. That's all the funding I needed for one walk and some of my next walk. WHAT WONDERFUL GROUP OF GALS my Aunt and her buddies are.

Vicki opened up her house to us for the second year in a row. She and her husband are so sweet and generous. They have been wonderful to me and to my Aunt when she was facing a very difficult time in her life when my uncle was so sick then passed away almost two years ago. Unfortunately my aunt is having to repay that since Vicki is now fighting her own fight against cancer. She is my thoughts and prayers and this walk is a bit bittersweet for that. Two years ago we were so worried about Uncle James, I hate that we have to do this again. My hope is that finding a cure for Breast Cancer will be the key to unlock the key to other cancers too.

So this Friday Good Neighbor and I will be heading off to SF for a whirlwind weekend of walking, talking, making new friends and new experiences. I can't wait. We will be walking through the beautiful Presidio, across the Golden Gate Bridge again, walking through the sweet little town of Sausalito into Mill Valley and back. We won't have TOO many hills the first day but 26.2 miles is plenty to make up for the lack of HUGE MOUNTAINOUS HILLLS we find on day two. We get to sleep in tents (that we have to put up ourselves) and shower in semi-trucks, this is my FAVORITE part, eat yummy yummy food all day both days and all while raising awareness for helping those with Breast Cancer today and in the future. I feel so blessed to be apart of this and to be able to share it with first my (x) sister-in-law in 2004, My mom and BFF in 2006, my BFF and her sister and friends and Diane Stratton who I walked a bit with in 2007 and this year with Good Neighbor. My hope is that Aunt Sandy, my mom and Chris's Gma Margie can crew in LA with me this September. What a wonderful trip that would be. Although Gma Margie might be sick of me by then. LOL

Words or wisdom and some quck whit too.

2008-07-01T12:10:00.000-07:00

Grandpa Derril was full of wisdom and whit. All the Grand kids stood up and gave a little clue to the huge part of their lives he has been. Jenny did a synopsis of his life, Chris and Brian were in charge of the poem "The Train" and spoke of how lucky they were go sit next to Gpa Derril for part of his ride. Hannah and Brandy talked about how Gpa Derril was their hero. Garin talked about the funny things Gpa did and said during their times together. he used to tell Gar out on the boat... Good catch, you caught the salad now lets catch some fish if Gar pulled up weeds instead of his intended target out at the grant. Some of the things he used to say were from his competitive upbringing. He had a modified version of what Puggy Paulson (famed poker player) used to say:

"I'll Play and man from any land
Any Game that he can Name
Any amount that he can Count
and say no more of the whole affair."

Apparently after pulling out the Chinese checkers and before any one was to play he would give his little speal. How lucky to grow up in a house full of games and laughter and music.

While releasing our balloons in honor of Grandpa Derril we said two other famous Derril sayings:

"I may not be right, but I am never wrong" and a German saying Rauss Mit der meaning kidding in manner 'get out of here'. I thought that these were appropriate times.

We are so lucky to have Margie's friend make a slide show of Derril's life and she is also going to put it to the music we played at the memorial.

We are so blessed to have him as part of our lives for so long.

Grandpa D

2008-06-23T14:40:00.000-07:00

How blessed we have been to have you in our lives, to live in your heart. We will miss you. We wish you peace.

*edit* as of 11:10 pm tonight a wonderful man lost his battle with cancer. Rest in peace Gpa Derril. You will be so missed*

I know

2008-06-22T20:49:00.000-07:00

I know that I was a bit pissy yesterday. Of course it was with good reason so I'm not actually going to apologize but when life already seems so cosmically imbalanced and someone goes off and says or does something that hurts your fragile ideals more, then how can you not be pissed off.

You see FFP's grandpa is really sick. Not gonna get better sick. It's so hard on FFP and his mom &Dad, brother and sister, their family especially his grandma who is the primary caretaker. I hate cancer. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. But yet, its still here. Its takes those we love away and it makes others less of a body, or less of a mother, father, sister, brother, son, daughter sometimes because chemo, radiation, surgery or emotional pain. I hate cancer. I hated listening to the pain my Uncle James went through and the emotional pain my Aunt Sandy went through taking care of him, then being here after he was gone. That is one reason to be pissy. Below is another.

The fires this week, the Humbolt fire that raged across our ridge, came so close to my parents house, took my friends house away after they lost one house already. The fires misplaced 70+ families and charred our beautiful little town. I cannot believe the destruction. I thank the firefighters who saved my parents home but wish they were there for our friends. How unfair life can be. There were looters, going through the evacuated families homes, or what was left of their homes. How can people be so evil?

Then there are people who can say hurtful and mean things just because they didn't get their way or they think their way is the only way. They push blame and hypocrisy on those who think more than just themselves. I did see it coming. I knew in my heart that the vague rude comments were for me, for us who wish safety and no ill harm to those we love. UHHH

So if I'm pissy its because right now, life isn't fair. Right now, I wish that those things that are out of my control would get better but those things that are within my control would not be judged. No one knows what's in your head. No one knows how big my heart is and how much I can love. No one but me needs to know what I do for others because I do NOT need your approval. No one but me knows that you may turn your nose up at me but I do know who you are and you are no one I want to waste my time on.

I'm done with my rant. I wish Gpa D and the family peace and days without pain. I don't think my wish will come true but I have been blessed to be a part of his family and have a place in his beautiful heart.

I am but a speck of sand

2008-06-20T23:24:00.000-07:00

I don't feel like the world revolves around me. I don't feel like I am entitles to more than I have earned. I feel that those who deserve recognition should get it and those who don't but get it anyway are facing karma in a bad way. I feel that I am a piece of a very large puzzle with every piece being different but just as important as the next no matter the size or color or difference. I would hope that those I loved valued my opinion but made their own choices for whats best for themselves and their families. I would hope that those who live in their own "lands" would think of others but I know, because they are different than myself, that its not the way life works.

I am tired of those people who have entitlement issues pushing their feeling and opinions on others to make themselves look good or feel superior. I see it every day. I used to be at the other end of it at work every day and now my kids seem to think that they can talk to me that way. Well honey, that ain't gonna happen. You get PS2 time when you deserve it. You get a new game when You earn it. You get to go and do fun things with your friends if and only if you have earned that privilege.

For the rest of you. I hope you think about the weight and future consequences of your actions and words before you jump in with two feet or speak them. I hope you understand that what you hear or see may be taken out of context. I hope you grow up ... although I doubt you ever will.

Book Tag

2008-06-20T21:55:00.000-07:00

I stole this from a sweet gal, P.O.M. over at Pieces of Me

Here's the rules and I tag anybody who wants do to it... but its fun. I was hoping for a steamy scene but its a good few sentances none the less.

Rules:
1.Find the book closest to you and turn to page 123
2.Locate the 5th sentence
3.Post in your blog the following three sentences
4.Then challenge five others to do the same

The book closest to me right now is Lisa Scottoline's Killer Smile

Mary imagined a huge oak tree, with branches that stretched like a hand,
reaching for the clear blue sky, ripping down that blue cloak and exposing
heaven itself.

"Mary, ready to go?"

"But how did he hand himself if the others were around?"

hmm. now I want to read it. LOL. like I don't have a million other things to read right now. I'm not tagging anyone in particular but if you do this meme then please let me know so I can come read yours, k?

Fire

2008-06-13T11:29:00.000-07:00

The Humbolt fire raged through the canyon, up to Paradise at Neal Road where it completely destroyed the Surgeon and wifes home and moved on toward my parents house. We had come to the realization that the house had to be gone. We prepared ourselves for the worst. This morning we got a call that changed all that. T called to tell us that her husband C (PG&E) checked on my parents house and it was still there. My mom lost it. Finally the relief and let down of emotions we needed.

They are there now. Checking out the property. Not a thing burned. But the thought of our friends who lost their home for the second time in 5 years in so sureal and lies heavy on our hearts. They lost their home in Mississippi to Huricane Katrina. They had 4 days warning to get all their stuff together. Tuesday they had no time. She got the dogs, made sure the kids were in Chico and so was Hubby and she left. Walked away from this second life they made after starting over again. I cannot believe it. I'm still in shock.

Kindergarten

2008-06-05T20:09:00.001-07:00

Has come to an end for our little family. This years experience has been bigger and better and sweeter than any expectations we could have had. Mrs. P is sweet and endearing and taught all the kids so much in such a short period of time. We had a (probably unhealthy) bond with our youngest sons teacher. We love her. She is the bomb. FFP learned all about Dobber (those pens old ladies use at bingo) pens for counting books. He learned about finger painting and stapling books together in the right order. He learned about using appropriate language in front of 5 and 6 year olds. Just imagine if FFP could learn all that then all the things that Blondy actually learned.

They had a cute graduation ceremony (that I would post of I could figure out how to get it off my video camera) . They sang songs and wore blue graduation hats with a gold tassle. They were so stinkin' cute.

Not for Hollywood to be outdone. He had an awesome year too. He made the best friends I could hope for him (and I made friends with their parents=double bonus adult conversation). He had a great teacher, Mrs, McL. FFP and Mrs. McL go way back and I got to be friends with her son B when he worked with FFP like a million years ago. Actually B ran the call on my Aunt Di almost 9 years ago. He will always have a special place in my heart for doing everything he could even though the outcome was the worst possible. Hollywood learned lots of math up to multiplication tables, the different parts of a sentence, how to write a paragraph and a letter, about rocks and caves and other geological phenomenons. He learned about sharing and is still working hard on listening skills and keeping his lips buttoned during class. He has grown so much this year. I am so proud of him. He is reading so well and has great problem solving skills at least at school.

He played basketball this year, Karate and Baseball and although he didn't do great in all of them he did show so much improvement that goes with trying your best and achieving your goals. I hope this is a lifelong trait for him.

I'll post if I can figure out how to post them from our little camera. I always have trouble with that. LOL

what are we teaching our children

2008-05-26T21:10:00.000-07:00

There is a very sweet blogger who I really enjoy reading. She has a blog called "The Guilty Parent" and there are several posts that may not pertain to me today but will in the future. There are some that I associate with now because parenting doesn't get easier it just changes, and some of these posts are ageless conversations about how we as parents no matter how old our children become, face day to day challenges that may or may not end in the correct result.

This one particular post is about how she went with her child's class to Washington DC. While they were at Arlington Cemetery a funeral was underway for a fallen soldier. One of our United States Soldiers who lost his/her life protecting our freedom. Do you know what some of those parents and children were doing? They were talking, taking pictures even videotaping this moment that should be a silent, revered moment. A moment that this family will remember as filled with grief and sadness for them and entertainment for a group of school children and their parents.

I told her that all though I find it appalling I do not find it surprising. I cannot tell you how many rude parents I see every day.Parents who are too lazy to teach their children respect and honor or even compassion. What the hell is wrong with people!?!? I was raised to respect those around me, my elders my peers and those younger than me who needed a good example from me. I learned that the world does not revolve around me. What I wanted, when I wanted didn't matter as much as how it fit into the family schedule, or if I had earned the right to do or get that certain thing. I don't know why parents aren't teaching their children these things but I know for sure that I am sick of the entitlement issues that my generation its teaching to the next generation.

Today is Memorial Day. Its a day to hold in esteem those soldiers who fought for our freedoms. Because Freedom does come with a price that most of us won't have to pay. A Price that our soldiers face every day. Thank you for sacrificing your homes, your families, your friends your time and even your lives to keep us free. God bless you all. For those who have fallen you will never be forgotten, you will live in our hearts as the soldiers who gave your life to keep terrorism off our soil.

A sad day

2008-05-26T18:20:00.000-07:00

People change. Some for the better. Some for the worse. A long time ago (in a land far away... well not really. It was actually just down the road) my hubby was a lowly EMT (EMT's are not lowly for those of you EMT's reading this). He started out on the Non-emergency vans and they kept him there even though he was good enough at his job to move up to the ambulance when he got his medic licence. They didn't want to lose him where he was, so they said. He was thorough and the patients liked him but the job was holding him back. He was frustrated. But he had an ear to bend. One of the other medics, maybe not the best medic but definitely a support system for him. RM taught him about being a good medic, took him under his wing. RM was there to hear him out, bounce ideas off of, discuss how a call could go differently or how it could be done better or what hubby might do next time. RM was Hubby's rock at work.

You know how things happen. The company got bigger. Something happened and RM left (can't remember if it was free will or not) and he changed. Just not the same. Heard rumors about drugs, both prescription and otherwise. He got a job in the bay. One day he ran a call at Shell Oil Refinery for a Heart Attack. Ended up to be my uncle Jerry. Apparently he was in a very bad heart rhythm. Whatever RM did he saved my uncles life. No matter what he had done in the past I would always hold a place for him in my heart for doing that. Not that he knew he was my uncle but I know we are all connected somehow and that was proof to me.

RM again took a turn for the worse. I heard that he ended up in jail for awhile. Not sure why exactly but it definitely wasn't for being a boy scout. Saw him here and there and he did not look good. I was sad for him, for his kids.

Today in the paper we find that he passed away in jail Sunday morning. Hung himself.

There was a lot of wonderful things that he did in his 42 years and I'm sure that most people don't remember that guy who was a sounding block and a mentor for a young medic. Or was a man who took a little boy under his wing when his family fell apart. We were there for that little boy when RM lost his way. Taht little boy is a man now and I'm sure that he is more well adjusted for the influence of RM in his younger life. I'm sure our love and nurturing helped too but it was definitely RM's hand that gave B that beginning sense of a male role model he needed.

So much has changed in the last 12 years. Today is a sad day.

6 and counting

2008-05-20T08:36:00.001-07:00

Blondy and M. at our favorite Starbucks.... we're so sad she's moving away :(

What a year this has been. Blondy has lost two teeth. Survived 9/10th of his Kindergarten year so far and undergone tests galore for his migraines. He has grown so much, inside and out. He is the most generous little boy with hugs and love and kisses still and I will be so sad when that slows or stops.

His sixth birthday was a lot of fun (well the beginning and the end anyway. I woke up and fed the boys pancakes (which I burnt the first set of), took them to school by bike. Blondy and I took a bike ride with a stop by our local Starbucks for a "vanilla milk" and our favorite bartista M. was there. She made the whole store sing "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" to him including the customers. He pretended to be embarrassed but he totally loved it. Blondy wants to go to Chili's for dinner and M. works there too. She said she'd see us tonight.

We took the bike path home making a big loop around this side of town. What a nice day. FFP came home and we were walking out the door to take Blondy and his cupcakes to school and I dropped them. All 18 vanilla frosted cupcakes all over my carpet. I sent the boys off and I frosted the last 18 I had in the freezer and steam cleaned the carpet while they were gone.

FFP had accidentally washed his phone the night before while he was at work after a fire. bummer. So he spent most of the afternoon getting a new one. It sounded like a great time. I'm glad I wasn't with him!

He came home and we took the new set of cupcakes to school then headed off to Paradise for Drew's birthday party. He turned 5 the same day Jack turned 6. They had a pirate party including a treasure map that led to buried treasure. It was hot.... really really hot. Jackson got so hot in fact that his headache turned to a migraine and when he gave me that sad "mommy I don't feel good" look I rushed him outside knowing that he was going to be sick. And he did. In their planter box in the front yard. (sorry Darren). Luckily he only had water. He slept all the way home and for about an hour afterward. He didn't even care that there was presents for him in the living room.

When he awoke he looked over his presents. I'm not sure why we bough him a bike. All he cared about was the Darth Vader Helmet that is a voice changer. He has been walking around saying, "Join the Dark Side" and breathing heavy for the last 4 days. LOL. He also got the original Star Wars trilogy and some books, a new helmet and a Webkinz from his brother and Gma and Gpa Riggins got him Darth Vader's light saber. Another hit. Annie, Uncle Bri and his cousins got him PJ's and a bridge for his train set. My living room has been taken over by Star Wars and GeoTrax.

We went to Chili's for dinner but the wait was an hour. We went in to talk to M. at the bar and then outside to wait for the family, Annie, the cousins, Gma and Gpa Riggins were coming since Annie, the cousins and Gpa were headed up to Washington on Sunday morning. We were trying to decide if we should go or stay when the hostess came out to say that we could be seated shortly. M. worked her magic and got us seating. Its good to have friends in high places. LOL. We ate yummy food and treated them to a nice dinner. The staff including M. sang to Blondy, he was beaming. Overall it was a nice day. Blondy got what he wanted and had a nice birthday.

Saturday we went to Paradise to help Sista(Annie) packed so she could go home. Ssg GI Bri will be coming home from Iraq soon and they had to get up to Washington and get the house set up before he comes in. I'm so sad. I've had almost a year to spoil and love my niece and nephews. I can't believe they are so far away again. Anyhow after Hollywood's many blowups and meltdowns it was time to say goodbye and go home. They were essentially packed and ready to go. Gpa Riggins loaded the truck to the hilt and the van was jam packed with stuff. They left the dogs in Pds since they don't have a cyclone fence yet. They will be back in July and will take them home then... I think. LOL

Sunday we had a swim party for Blondy out at Gma and Gpa Mickelsons house. We invited Good Neighbor and her kids and David from down the street. Uncle B and Aunt R came. We ate watermelon and strawberries and pineapple. Blondy didn't want cake he wanted pie for his birthday so we sang to him with six candles in a berry pie. He wanted sherbert too. He is a boy after my own heart. He got a $25 gift card to Barnes and Noble, Star Wars toys, clothes, a squirt gun and two more webkinz, a golden retriever and a beagle. So cute. Overall he had a great weekend and although it was bittersweet with Sista and the kids gone, we can't wait to see them in July, and are looking forward to our vacation to the Seattle area in August.

I have so much to tell you

2008-05-14T17:34:00.001-07:00

and absolutely no time to actually sit here and type. I did want to send out a shout out to my Aunt Sandy for organizing such a wonderful fundraiser and my mom and all my aunt's friends for all of their help. They raised over $2000 for me in one afternoon. You gals rock! Happy Belated Mother's day to EVERY mama out there. I had a great one and I'll fill you in on that later too. Got lots of thank you cards to do and still need to go running so I promise to update you ASAP.

A step in the right direction

2008-05-01T14:14:00.000-07:00

I made an appointment with the councolor at the local community college to get me on track and hopefully take a few classes next year. I figure by the time I finish school it will be time for me to get a real job anyway. May 14th is the day. Since I haven't been in school for 10+ years it will be interesting (and probably depressing) to see what needs to get done for me to get a degree.

Balancing Act

2008-04-26T21:15:00.000-07:00

There are so many things going through my mind right now. Too many to count of to focus on. This is where my anxiety finds its strength. When I'm tired, when I feel overwhelmed and don't have enough time for everyting. Then it calls... knocking down the door. Headache, stomach ache, shakes, tunnel vision,shortness of breath, tightness in my chest, the tears. I have been so good at keeping it at bay, not needing medicine, using visualization and meditative practices to hold back the panic that rises up to show its ugly head.

I couldn't even tell you when they started because by they time I realized I was having them it was normal, part of my life. Although I have a bottle of Xanex on hand I have only had to use them a handful of times in the last 10 years. I have found that in the last year they have been showing up more often, and develop far more quickly than ever before. I had them whenenver I had to do a speech for Public Speaking class but I got over that with Teaching CPR. Until last summer when in the middle of my class I would lose my breath, feel scattered and lose my train of thought. I would start shaking and feel like the world would end before I could finish my class. I was good at teaching. I hated being held back.

When my grandparents died I used excersise to hold the attacks at bay. Now I try to use running. I find that running by myself gives me a little too much time to think to myself, I have a tendency to overthink and anylize things. I'm not sure if its a good thing or not. I do feel better when I run though so I'm hoping this is a step (or few) in the right direction.

Baby Got back

2008-04-25T15:58:00.000-07:00

I was trying to think of what song to put on my husbands phone as his ringtone and ring back (the song you hear instead of a ring tone when you call someone) and although he would get a kick out of the ring tone it would probably take a really long time to figure out that his ring back would be changed too. This is my idea:

What do you think? Doesn't it just take you back... How old does that make us? LOL!!!I think he'll be a little ticked but think its really funny too. OHHH I can't wait.

The Hubby MeMe

2008-04-14T20:59:00.000-07:00

How long did you date? 4 years before we got married, and 9 years since then.
How old is he? 31
Who eats more? He does.
Who said “I love you” first? I did, when my friend was in a motorcycle accident and decided that although I felt it I had better say it.
Who is taller? He is by about eight inches.
Who sings better? Umm, its a toss up. Neither of us can carry a tune in a bucket!
Who is smarter? I am about some things and he is about others.
Whose temper is worse? I show mine more often but whose is worse would be a toss up.
Who does the laundry? even steven.
Who does the dishes? depends on who makes dinner and who gets tired of waiting for the other one to do them.
Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? When he's home he sleeps there, the 10 nights he's gone a month at work, I do.
Who pays the bills? He does. $$$ is not my thing
Who cooks dinner? Since he is a firefighter you would think it would be him.... but if you want to eat something besides mac n' cheese or bean dip that had better be me.
Who drives when you are together? He always does.
Who is more stubborn? toss up.
Who asked who out first? He asked me... I was 17... jail bait and I wore all white on our first date... HA HA HA HA HA HA
Who kissed who first? he kissed me in the back of his pickup, over looking the city, parked off the road ya know?
Who is the first to admit when they are wrong? I think I do. He might disagree.
Whose parents do you see the most? toss up, they both live close. His parents come to more of the kids stuff but my parents watch them more.
Who proposed? He did, Christmas time, 1997. I was all of 19 at the time and thinking I knew it all. I wouldn't trade it for the world now though
Who is more sensitive? Me.
Who has more friends? umm. dunno, we used to share our friends now he has all these firefighter friends from work. LOL
Who has more siblings? I have one sista, he has one brother and one twin sister.
Who wears the pants in the family? He does.

I'm not going to tag anyone for this but if you want to play leave a comment so I can go visit! BTW I stole this sweet little meme from Skittles Place. You can slide over there and check her out too.

Update

2008-04-09T21:14:00.001-07:00

My uncle is feeling better in general. Actually today was his scan to check for any spread of the cancer and his appointment is on Friday with is surgeon. If it shows that it has spread they may go to SF for a second opinion (knowing just enough to be scared and not enough to make a fair opinion I say ALWAYS GET A SECOND OPINION). Anyhow, the scan machine wasn't working and my aunt and uncle had to wait around and for someone who is waiting for a machine to tell them how their life is going to change and then its not working when you get there, you could image he was ... um, MAD. Who could blame him. I hope and pray it shows everything is clear.

Hollywood played a wonderful baseball game on Tuesday night. He's hitting and fielding wonderful. Such a big change from the little kids having trouble hitting the balls off the T's just two years ago. They are actual baseball players with wonderful teamwork and team spirit. I am so proud of him.

Both Hollywood and Blondy have shown such human emotion and compassion lately. their little friend broker her arm and the first thing they did was grab my (expensive scrapbook) paper and make her a card. They have been using their manners and asking each others opinions about things. Why do they have to grow up so fast?

I went running with Laura, my running partner, again today. its so nice to run with someone. we can talk and jog along and push it a little farther each time or each week. I think this will help with my training (as long as I can keep up with her since she seems to be better at getting the between alone runs in better than I do). I really need to work on strength training and core once a week just isn't cutting it. maybe there will be a class while the kids are at Karate tomorrow, or I can just RUN by myself. That would be nice too.

Cancer sucks

2008-04-07T21:55:00.000-07:00

With tears in my eyes I write this post. Although everything may turn out fine these last few weeks have been heavy in our hearts waiting for word of what to do next.

We are no strangers to cancer, or I should say, it is no stranger to us. It has invaded our family leaving a path of survivors and memories of those who fought to the end before being consumed by it. Tomorrow my Uncle will take a test to see if this disease has spread or was confined to his stomach. He has already endured one surgery and with the pathology report back we know that more tests and most likely more surgeries are to follow soon. My Grandma has been doing quite well considering she was diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure many years ago but after a too much time going by with irragular heartbeats its time to get a pace maker. One will be put in a week from today and is an overnight routine visit to the hospital for a strong woman in her 80's.

I'm gearing up for a line of races, one of which is to honor the memory of my Uncle James who left us August 2006 after a heroic fight with Leukemia. I also am still raising money (constantly and continuously looking for a cure or a breakthrough) by joining forces with Avon Walk for Breast Cancer. I have to many family members who have been touched then ravaged by the cancer bug. So for the last few weeks our prayers have been focused on this disease and what its done to my family and how my Uncle, Aunt, cousins, mom and grandma are dealing with this new trial. I pray that everything will be brought forth in the way that God intends, what we can handle and we pray with results in our favor.

Please bless them and bring them into your graces and heal them. Lord, help
our family with whatever blessings or hardships you may ask us to endure. Place
your healing hand on those we love and give them your unending love and
strength. amen

Does my butt look f(l)at in these?

2008-03-24T15:04:00.000-07:00

I don't always have the same issues as my body as some of the other girls. I don't understand when someone says "you have no reason to be worried about your body". We all have our reasons to be insecure. I have a flat butt. I have more loose skin and fat around my mid section and weigh more than I ever have before, other than being pregnant with the boys. I was not blessed with nice complexion. My hair today is so much different (curly and crazy) than it was 10 years ago, before I had babies and I don't know what to do with it. I have insecurities. I look in the mirror and see flaws. I also see the nice things... don't get me wrong. On the days when I don't feel good about me though, its hard to see what I've been blessed with.

I'm not a clothes hog. I buy easy fitting cheap clothes. I know I should buy quality but I feel mommy guilt and know I should be spending $$ on the kids and their clothes. I buy my clothes at Target and Old Navy and Murvyn's, when I buy them I buy them on clearance or when there is a great deal. I have this issue with inheriting clothes from friends. Most of the time they don't really fit. Wow I should send this blog onto Clinton and Stacey and maybe they'll put me on the show (that is serious invite for anyone to nominate me... hint hint). Anyhow I need clothes bad. I have 2 pair of jeans that fit me. 2, two, that is sad. I have two pair of capris that are not even close to flattering. I have one pair of jean shorts my mom bought me to take on my honeymoon, 9 years ago. I have tank tops, Old Navy tank tops in 4 different colors. I have t-shirts, loose fitting that I got at the AWBC walks and the Relay for Life and such. I have 5 pairs of $9 socks for running but only cheap white socks for any other time. I have running shoes, 2 pair of Fat Baby boots in two different colors and old navy flip flops.

Over at 5 Minutes for Mom (I spend much more than 5 minutes over there) they posted a blog about the perfect jeans for mom. Sometimes that feels like trying to find the Holy Grail. I had convinced myself that if they existed then I couldn't afford them anyway. After checking out the website at True Jeans and with a little work getting your measurements at home, I might even be able to afford a decent, good fitting pair of jeans. Now to get myself out of these over sized sweatshirts? Problem is that I LOVE THEM! Although I know they are doing nothing for my style. Who am I kidding? I have no style.